Thursday, April 26, 2007
Only 87% Tool
Dear Andrew,
Note: Your representative at Glocap has been unreachable, so we decided to contact you directly.
Thank you very much for your recent application to the Texas-Pacific Group. Your resume and glowing recommendation from your MD were both somewhat impressive. We applaud your efforts to transition from Banking into Private Equity, it is definitely the right move right now. We were considering extending you an offer, actually, but upon review of the quiz you inadvertently submitted to for the New York Post, we regret to inform you that we will be unable to offer you a position at our firm.
Please note that you did score an 87%, which is nothing to be ashamed of. It turns out to a B+ with our generous scaling, and you know what they say—at least you won’t be lonely at the fat part of the bell curve. We only take A’s though. Have you considered a position at Hellman & Friedman?
Please see my edits and scoring below in red below (we know how you like red!!). We start the score at 100 and then subtract and add points as appropriate. Essentially, if had you had said nothing, you would have scored 100%.
TOOLS OF THE TRADE
By LINDSAY EDELSTEIN
THE INVESTMENT BANKER
Andrew, 24
Salary estimate: $190,000, including projected bonus (-2 for not lying)
Job: We help companies raise capital and grow their business. (+5 for lying and making Banking sound semi-cool!)
CLOTHES
Suit: Hickey Freeman suit, $2,749 (+1 for overpaying). “I have about 10 suits and usually buy them at Hickey Freeman and Paul Stuart (+1). I have two really heavy pin-stripe suits that I’d classify as ‘power suits.’ Bankers never wear double-breasted suits, it’s a fashion faux pas (+1 for French). I get all of my suits tailored in Rochester, N.Y (-2 for going somewhere north of 86th street that’s not The Hamptons). There is a Romanian couple that have been doing my father’s suits for years. They are trusted in the family, and 10 times better than any of the tailors I’ve used in the city.” (We know that family: Ionescu. All the legit tailors in that lineage are still in Romania. -5 for not flying them over personally.)
White shirt: “There’s a saying in the banking world that you can never have too many blue suits or white shirts (-2, they also said this at IBM circa 1965). I get mine from Hickey Freeman [$149-$249] as my standby, but I also shop at Charles Tyrwhitt [$99-$200] (+0, Fine brand, but we have a feeling you shop at their Madison Avenue store, which is across the street from Men’s Warehouse), Thomas Pink [$149-$249] (+1) and Turnbull and Asser [over $250] (+1). I get my white shirts heavy-starched (+1).”
Collar: “I always buy cutaway collars (+1) and French cuffs (+1) from the British stores (Tyrwhitt, Pink, Turnbull & Asser), and Barrel (button) cuffs from Hickey Freeman.”
Watch: Breitling Navitimer, $5,299 (+3). “Bankers have a complex with having a watch. Far and beyond the most popular watch is a Rolex Submariner (+1)- black or white face, half bezel is blue. The Navitimer comes in a few different sizes and shapes.” Nice work on this section!
Shoes: Ferragamo loafers, $395 at Saks Fifth Avenue. “The standard banker shoe is a fashion loafer or a tie cap toe.” (-5 for not shopping at Bergdorf.)
Tie: Hickey Freeman (again with the Hickey?) tie, $125. “The two tie brands that embody the investment banker are Hermes (+1) and Salvatore Ferragamo (+1). I don’t wear a lot of Ferragamo because they tie small knots and are usually pastel - I like thicker knots (+1) and cutaway collars (+0, whoops, already got this one). Every now and then I’ll pick up some pastels from Brooks Brothers (-8, [shudder]). I’ve bought one or two Ferragamo ties from the outlet (-4 because we don’t understand what that last word means). But I buy most of my ties from Hickey Freeman (-5 for acting like you’re sponsored by them). They retail anywhere from $98-$130.”
Brands missed
(-1 for each, -1 for lack of inventiveness making us think about off-the-rack clothes):
Armani, Gucci, Eton, Hilditch & Key, Brioni, Kiton, Canali, Versace
TOOLS
PDA: A BlackBerry 8700c (-2, one for every year old this phone is. Get an 8800 or at least a Pearl, kid!), it’s gray with black trim. “I bought mine at the Cingular store in Midtown. (we are going to be nice and neglect this comment) At first, people are apprehensive and they think it’s a virtual leash. Now I can’t imagine life without it. (+5 for never being out of pocket!)
Red pen: “I keep a pen behind my ear at all times. I never used red pens before, now I always do - it stands out.” (We’re not really big on the whole ‘analog’ thing. How could you forget MS Excel as a tool? -8.)
GROOMING
Shoe-shining: “I like to shine my own shoes. You can get a shine kit at any shoe retailer with brush, polish and cloth. But in an emergency, there are shoe-shiners walking around on our floor offering to shine our shoes [$5].” (-3 for not actively supporting Taylorism and division of labor).
TASTES
Cigars: “My favorite cigar is a CAO Brazilia (+2, no MX2, though?), with Partagas Black Label (+1) coming in close behind. I buy most of my cigars at JR Cigar on 46th and Fifth. Sometimes I will buy from Barclay Rex on Lexington Avenue, and sometimes I order them by the box on Thompson Cigar online. I’ve been smoking cigars for four years now, it’s even on my résumé (+3, good form). Liking cigars is a good talking point (talk to the -2).” (Fyi, at TPG we only smoke individually muled cigars from Cuba, rolled by no one over the age of 7.)
Red Bull: “Every two weeks I buy a 12-pack of sugar-free (-3) Red Bull. I have one before I get in the shower, and then I drink one on the way to work. I don’t really drink coffee because it’s a slow process. Redbull is portable and it gets you ready to embrace the day.” (+7 for “willing to do what it takes”-ness, -3 for shoddy arithmetic).
Blanton’s: “The only alcohol I drink is Blanton’s whiskey (+.5), Woodford Reserve (a small-batch bourbon) (+.5) and Glenlivet 15-year (a single-malt scotch) (They make scotches aged fewer than 18 years?! -10 for knowing that.). There’s a good liquor place on 86th Street between Broadway and Amsterdam that I go to every now and then.”
Bar: “The bad side of the long hours. After six months, I noticed people started calling me less and less (+25 for being able to “give us your all”). Some of my friends and I go to Milk & Honey (-3 for being behind the game). It’s really small and there are rules. Men can’t approach women, you have to make reservations and they chip the ice into your drink. At the other end of the spectrum is Yogi’s. They have $7 pitchers of Bud Ice. ’nuff said.” (-2 for not helping out The Patriot, +1 cause Yogi’s is owned by the same guy).
Thanks again for your application. I’m actually only in HR here at TPG, so this is just a first pass, and I’m sure I may have missed some stuff (the folks here seem to agree with us and might have provided additional input). We do understand you may have had limited time while answering these questions and that reporters tend to take things out of context, so we tried to take that into consideration. But you’re a bit of a media extravaganza now, so I’m sure you’ll understand that our hands are tied.
Best of luck,
Corinne Lee
Texas-Pacific Group
—
Andrew, sorry about the lack of contact–they disabled my email account. To be honest, it’s looking pretty grim. I hear Strategic M&A at Blimpie has an opening, though. What do you say? Free subs!
Jenna Luckham
Glocap Search
April 26th, 2007 at 10:32 am
Well done.
April 26th, 2007 at 10:56 am
glocap chicks are the worst
April 26th, 2007 at 11:16 am
Jenna,
I have not sunk that low yet! Blimpie, please! Isn’t there something at Quizno’s at least?
April 26th, 2007 at 11:24 am
We’re not really big on the whole ‘analog’ thing.
Too good, man. Too good.
April 26th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
French cuffs, very good !
I’m still surpised by american trader wages…
I must work in USA…moreover in France there The Return of Socialism…horror isn’t ?
April 26th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
(100) to the Sellout for not excoriating young Andrew on his pathetic horological tastes.
1. Breitlings are blingy rubbish just a few gold-plate bezel-nubs above a Tag from Costco.
2. The Submariner comes only in black face on steel or in blue face with gold or steel/gold bracelets. Extra points for green 50th anniversary bezel or red face model issued only to Coca-Cola boardmembers.
3. The aforementioned “white face” Rolex is the Explorer II, and the “half blue bezel” is the GMT-Master II.
In summation: if you want a massive steel sport watch from a legitimate watchmaker, strap on an Audemars Royal Oak Offshore and call me in the morning.
April 26th, 2007 at 1:05 pm
thanks but no thanks, this website is for bankers not watchmaking apprentices
god the perfect movement on my Franck Muller Conquistador just gave me wood
April 26th, 2007 at 1:34 pm
-100 points for using Glocap - TPG does not use them, nor would any top-tier PE firm restrict their recruiting to a lowest common-denominator headhunting group like Glocap.
Although I’m sure Glocap would be a great way to land a pretty sweet gig at Accenture or D&T.
April 26th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
“1. Breitlings are blingy rubbish just a few gold-plate bezel-nubs above a Tag from Costco.
2. The Submariner comes only in black face on steel or in blue face with gold or steel/gold bracelets. Extra points for green 50th anniversary bezel or red face model issued only to Coca-Cola boardmembers.
3. The aforementioned “white face” Rolex is the Explorer II, and the “half blue bezel” is the GMT-Master II.”
And lets not forget the Rolex Daytona - which also has a white face and is far more difficult to come by…
great piece!
April 26th, 2007 at 2:32 pm
Paul Newman Rolex Daytona.
All Audemars watches look like fucking stop signs with a second hand.
April 26th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
I don’t think anyone consideres the hamptons north of 86th street, whether or not it is at a higher latitude.
April 26th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
Nice work!
April 26th, 2007 at 4:26 pm
“I’ve bought one or two Ferragamo ties from the outlet (-4 because we don’t understand what that last word means).”
If this is like it is here in Montreal, then outlet = discount warehouse store where you get the end-of-season (and last season’s) clothes. In other words, he got them on sale.
April 26th, 2007 at 5:30 pm
I think outlets are where poor people shop, although it is a notch above ebay
April 26th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
yeah no shit ladyjaye you fucking idiot.
April 26th, 2007 at 6:29 pm
-100 for not revealing the algorithm that led to the 87%/B+. -50 for the Hamptons “north” comment.
Oh, and ladyjaye is either a zen master of subtle humor or a complete tool - odds are it’s the latter…
April 26th, 2007 at 6:31 pm
Will the fucking Canadians quit posting on this site?
The equivalence of a Montreal discount warehouse to an American outlet mall puts me at some level of “I don’t give a fuck” I can barely comprehend.
April 26th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
the blimpie bit really spoilt the show..
April 26th, 2007 at 8:36 pm
Give me a fucking break. Add it all up and this jamokey spends more than he makes! I bet his bosses make him buy all the drinks!
-D on W 103rd -
April 26th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
“Fyi, at TPG we only smoke individually muled cigars from Cuba, rolled by no one over the age of 7.”
hahaha…Excellent!
April 26th, 2007 at 9:04 pm
Ditto on the watches.
Who wears loafers?
Who starches their shirts?
Who pays >$2500 for an off-the-rack suit?
What legitimate banker buys his own BB for work?
April 26th, 2007 at 11:44 pm
How do you get an 87 on any test and end up in banking? I guess thats how he ended up at Bear. Clearly middle market material.
April 27th, 2007 at 3:45 am
“At least you won’t be lonely at the fat part of the bell curve…” lol
Excellent post!
April 27th, 2007 at 5:57 am
Agree on the Glocap reference being a negative, but ironically the link is to SG Partners, which does the TPG searches, so maybe -0.5 points
April 27th, 2007 at 6:48 am
I’ve heard just about enough from people from Canada.
Canada is basically the “outlet store” or “Duane Reade brand” of the U.S.
April 27th, 2007 at 7:49 am
“Thank you very much for your recent application to the Texas-Pacific Group.”
The scentence should not read “THE Texas-Pacific Group”, but:
“Thank you very much for your recent application to Texas-Pacific Group.”
Please tidy up your posts before submitting them online.
April 27th, 2007 at 8:13 am
One of the better recent posts..priced to perfection. and picking on the Canuck is brilliant.
I totally agree that Audemars look like freakin’ stop signs BTW…
April 27th, 2007 at 8:20 am
Speaking of tidy posts, you just spelled “sentence” with an extra “C” you fucking short-bus retard.
April 27th, 2007 at 9:58 am
This herb is clearly a commercial banker. He states that a 12 pack of sugar free red bull lasts him two weeks and he drinks 2 a day. By my math assuming 5 business days, you would need 20 red bulls to last 2 weeks. Long LSO, short commercial banker herb, neutral Red Bull here.
April 27th, 2007 at 10:13 am
Wow, good work “models and bottles”, great catch on the math! I guess you didn’t realize the original post ALREADY POINTED THAT OUT? Do you hang out with models because they’re too dumb to realize what an idiot you are?
April 27th, 2007 at 11:50 am
Wow, why are you so mad? Maybe it’s because you work at a shitty back office job and live in a 5th floor walkup on 112th Street and can never get in to Tenjune, Pink Elephant and Cain. Don’t worry, maybe you can get into Joshua Tree. Go early though.
April 27th, 2007 at 11:54 am
I think some people in this forum may no the answer to this. Please help.
Is it possible to enter a bulge bracket firm at the Associate level as a lateral hire if one does not have an MBA?
April 27th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
M&B is obviously a commercial banker or a shitty summer intern at wachovia. what self respecting banker only works 5 days a week?
April 27th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
“models and bottles” - I’m not mad, just pointing out what an idiot you are. It’s funny that when someone calls focus on your painfully inadequate mental facilities you must resort to the fall-back position of citing your job and where you live. It must suck not to have any redeeming qualities like a personality, class, or intelligence. You were obviously picked on a lot in school.
April 27th, 2007 at 1:00 pm
People should just layoff him. Granted, he made a mistake by talking to the media, but the reporter screwed him by changing all his comments. I hear he was talking about what people do in the industry, not himself.
Stop picking on this guy to make yourself feel better about your life.
Andrew, you’re still an idiot for talking to a reporter!
April 27th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Big respect Canada
April 27th, 2007 at 1:15 pm
If you’re a banker who needs bottles to pick up models, you’re not much of a man.
Or a banker.
April 27th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
Pretty sure he’s referring to Excel models…
April 27th, 2007 at 2:01 pm
Is Canda still considered a country? I thought it is just a place that Americans put things they don’t want, like Hockey, Mullets and Molsen Beer.
If its considered a country than, I guess the landfills in Staten Island should be considered cities, and hire mayors
April 27th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
Canda is not a coutray brah
Canada, however, is
April 27th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
Great Pic Andrew! If I see you on the streetI’m soooooooooooo robbing you…
April 27th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
This is f@$%_(*g hilarious. The second read is even funnier than the first. Brilliant!
April 27th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
MSRP Breitling Navitimer: $5,270.
April 27th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
he says only alcohol he drinks are classy hard alcs, but he goes to yogi’s for the $7 pitchers of Bud Ice…I mean they make 40s of that shit
best to get a yard of quality beer at the Ginger Man
April 27th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Andrew Cassini, Vassar College…what a douche
April 27th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
bunch of pricks you all are…
April 27th, 2007 at 10:10 pm
I love how we’ve capured “what a…” at a low point on Friday night, calling us all pricks. Taking out his Excel frustrations on the board because he can’t handle the life of a true banker. I’ll bet you’re from Canada too, you fucking zero.
April 28th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
To some extent I feel for this kid. I can imagine his comments were taken out of context and the jealous reporter was out to make fun of banking - but that does not excuse talking to a reporter !
April 28th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
So why hasn’t anyone bankrupted themselves on bespoke tailoring from Gieves and Hawkes. . . it’s the only way to properly outdo everyone
April 29th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
will give you a pass on the earlier post….good work
April 29th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Anonymous at 6:05, you’re wrong. the way to outdo everyone is bespoke Member’s Only. I hear that is THE brand to wear at Cain.
a
April 30th, 2007 at 12:38 am
Please, Breitling or Rolex is okey if you are in high school, except the Paul Newman. Try some VC, Patek or IWC. Hublot or AP if your a trader our just young. Collectable Casio if you are a first-rate quant.
April 30th, 2007 at 12:51 am
Someone found pictures of him:
http://photos-995.ak.facebook.com/ip002/v66/116/106/8400009/n8400009_30483995_5908.jpg
http://photos-069.ak.facebook.com/ip002/v66/116/106/8400009/n8400009_30484069_1940.jpg
http://photos-045.ak.facebook.com/ip002/v66/116/106/8400009/n8400009_30484045_4080.jpg
In the last one, notice the “Spice Girls” poster.
April 30th, 2007 at 11:32 am
Nice. I think an additional -10 points are warranted. Judging from where he buys his liquor, its unclear if Andrew even lives in Manhattan. (”There’s a good liquor place on 86th Street between Broadway and Amsterdam that I go to every now and then”). Maybe this is where the “outlets” are?
April 30th, 2007 at 11:47 am
You’re all so empty…
April 30th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
I’d rather work for KKR.
April 30th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
Anonymous at 11:32am: Are you Canadian as well? What’s unclear about 86th and Amsterdam being in Manhattan? If map-reading was a bank, you’d be Wachovia - Charlotte.
April 30th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
I’ve come to the conclusion that maple syrup destroys your sense of sarcasm.
America has a retarded growth on its head.. and it’s called Canada.
Every now and then when I watch the news and see GWB and think America sucks, all I need to do is look North and smile.
April 30th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
You must be saving it all for the book because that was garbage.
p.s. Glocap blows.
April 30th, 2007 at 8:03 pm
Judging from the first picture it looks like this guy does some of his drinking at McSorley’s as well (if I’m not mistaken). They don’t serve a drop of hard liquor in there, but the beer is pretty good.
April 30th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
don’t knock costco, they sell $30k pateks and iwc’s.
April 30th, 2007 at 11:16 pm
How long do you think before this guy is fired for telling a reporter his “expected” bonus? Especially when it’s clear he used the top end of the range.
May 1st, 2007 at 6:07 am
I’m not sure but I have an impression that american and canadian people seems like cat and dog .
They hate them, no ?
May 1st, 2007 at 7:15 am
hi,
i’ve been clicking all your google adverts so you can make money and keep providing this goodness - i hope it helps
(please everyone else - click this dudes ads)
May 1st, 2007 at 9:08 am
i think hes already been fired…
May 1st, 2007 at 9:40 am
Douche Central
May 1st, 2007 at 12:27 pm
pretty good post, kicking a boy while he’s down…kudos.
to most of the other posters….you make me laugh even though you can’t spell
to the canucks…you are all fuck-tards but you have a pretty decent ski resort out west
to Andrew…you are the biggest t-bagging d-bag and deserve all the riducule you get
audi 5000
May 1st, 2007 at 12:31 pm
yes, for you lame asses, the spelling error was on purpose….don’t ridicule me….
May 1st, 2007 at 3:33 pm
More Douching
May 1st, 2007 at 4:13 pm
Andrew’s ext at Bear Stearns 9254
May 3rd, 2007 at 7:39 am
audi 5000. damMmMmm SoN tHaT IsHt iZ MaDdDdDd FuNnY. GoOd ThInG I WoRk aZ a JaNiToR aT KrK ThE CrAZy pE FuNd. I LoVe tHiZ IsHt.
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:16 am
Canadians are a bunch of Mexicans sitting up North. Canada is the biggest scam in the history of mankind
May 3rd, 2007 at 9:59 am
Did this guy really get fired because of the article?
May 3rd, 2007 at 12:10 pm
They don’t use the full “Texas Pacific Group” anymore (just TPG, like KFC used to be Kentucky Fried Chicken) and there was never a hyphen regardless. And they wouldn’t hire any of you…
And I like Canadians, mullets and all.
May 3rd, 2007 at 5:15 pm
I guess the article is somewhat funny if you don’t know the guy (and it is cleverly criticized in this entry.) However, he’s a good kid and does not talk about material things (unless it is fished out of him and taken out of context as it is in this case). He doesn’t deserve all the BS he is getting from everyone so lay off the kid and move onto the next victim. Every banker thinks like that anyway (even if s/he doesn’t have the gull to say it).
May 4th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
What type of torture methods did they use on him to fish this info out? Was Jack Bauer involved?
BTW, he definitely deserves this.. These words did come out of his mouth. He did say he put cigar smoking on his resume right?
May 6th, 2007 at 10:47 am
>
No one’s making fun of the guy for thinking like this or even being like every other banker. The big mistake inviting his just desserts is talking to a goddamn reporter. If you need a cheap thrill, hire a call girl, but for God’s sake, don’t talk to a frigging reporter unless you WANT something leaked. Idiot.
May 9th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
apparantly, this guy was fired.
anyone close to source that can confirm?
May 9th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
Where is Logan? I miss you HUNEEEEY!!!!!!!!!!!!
xoxo
Nancy Ng
May 10th, 2007 at 3:40 am
how thick can one get?
“apparantly, this guy was fired.
anyone close to source that can confirm?”
yeah. he was fired in cuckooville. this is fiction. you might have heard of it if you read a book once in a while
May 10th, 2007 at 7:53 am
HAHAH… actually “you moron”…YOU are the moron. The post itself is fiction, however it is based on real events.. Have you ever tried clicking a link that says “link” or “link”
Here, I’ll make it easy for your thick head.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/04242007/entertainment/tools_of_the_trade_entertainment_lindsay_edelstein.htm?page=0
http://gawker.com/news/new-york-post/i+banker-does-profession-proud-is-ti%20tanic-douche-254812.php
May 10th, 2007 at 4:53 pm
Hahaha, “You moron” just shot himself in his fucktard leaky nuts!!! Talk about irony!
May 11th, 2007 at 4:31 am
that shoots this blog to a whole new level then. big up
May 11th, 2007 at 5:41 am
anybody else feel like we’ve scared away most of the people who take the blog seriously and by doing so, killed all of the best comments?
May 11th, 2007 at 7:57 am
Yeah, I agree you moron is actually a fucking retard. Probably works for some small boutique firm in Kansas. Fucking retard, you are a waste of space.
May 11th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
My guess is that “you moron” may end his sentences in “ey” and call ham bacon.
Just a guess.
Rest assured Anonymous 5:41, there will always be retards making comments. I’m not woried.
May 11th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
I gotta agree w/ “Do Work Income Fund” on the starched shirt shit, this ain’t 1950 and we aren’t working in IBM’s mainframe sales division. Secondly, loafers are for 47 year old bankers from Strong Island, who have their wives match their argyle socks to their 7 year old, worn Brooks Brothers suits. And the last time I checked, off the rack Hickey’s aren’t over $2k, and at his peon level, none of the MDs give a shit anyway that he’s wearing a $2,000 suit indirectly financed by his father, he should be working on his modeling and photocopying skills more anyway.
Finally, why has nobody commented on his tool-like supercuts hairstyle, and double chin at the tender age of 24. Andrew, put down the freaking donuts you butterball, start eating some cereal and maybe a salad on occasion, and for god’s sake, spend some of your $190k on a gym membership, preferably at the company gym so you can burn some of that shit off of your corpulent physique during the week.
Now that you stupidly talked to a reporter, got your broke ass fired, and have some impressive experience shining your own shoes, I’d suggest that you go home and grab your shine box. Everybody else keep an eye out for a portly 24 year old, wearing shiny Ferragamo loafers, working at the northeast corner of 42nd & 5th Ave., at the shoe shine place just outside of Bryant Park. And make sure to tip him well so he can afford some $7 pitchers of Bud Light Ice after a long day of work.
May 11th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
brillantly done straight talker
May 11th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
I also wanted to point out that that WestCoast_LBO idiot who said that your moniker refers to Excel models and not long-legged models, has clearly spent too much time in cold, foggy SF (where the girls are mostly boring) or plain vanilla Silicon Valley (where the Gap is considered nice clothing) and not any time living here to see that while models aren’t the smartest peeps around, given my choice I’d rather spend my 8pm-4am hours w/ trying to chat with them at Marquee on a Thursday night (like I did last night w/ Amanda Hearst, Tinsley Mortimer and their type) than on the 35th floor of my building w/ Excel models staring back at me.
May 14th, 2007 at 8:39 am
straight talker, taking Amanda Hearst’s drink orders does not count as “chatting”
May 14th, 2007 at 9:01 am
Straight Talker,
Get your head out of your ass. California has the best weather and the most beautiful women in the country. NYC during summer is a disgusting humid cesspool. The smell is horrendous. Meanwhile, people in SF and LA are enjoying awesome weather and hot busty blondes in great shape.
Marqee is way past its heyday. It’s filled with low class B&T people.
May 14th, 2007 at 11:00 am
Hey jjc1122 and other west coast homos…..
1. You suck
2. California Sucks
Have a great time sitting in traffic in your 94 Honda Civic, enjoying “awesome weather and hot busty blondes in great shape”…….OK, maybe half of that statement is true, Im sure you do enjoy the hot busty (read nice pecs) blonde men working out at Venice (read gay) beach….see ya homos.
May 14th, 2007 at 11:24 am
Your moniker tells me all I need to know. You’re probably some poor kid from Jersey working as an analyst at Jeffries, who thinks going to Marquee is so cool.
There’s a reason why the hottest models and actresses come to LA. The girls at NYC look like shit compared to Cali girls. They’re either overweight or too skinny. Yuck!
May 14th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
jjc1122 is a freaking tool. Yeah, I love the fake tits and fake tans that go along w/ the SoCal girls. I thought you were at least going to defend the more in shape and smarter SF girls, but instead you’re going to defend the L.A. dummies. The dumbest girls in any city in the U.S., hands down. They are our little playgrounds when we fly out to Vegas for a weekend, then you idiots can have them back. NYC during the summer is fantastic on the weeknights, and if you aren’t a complete idiot who is stuck in the office all weekend putting pitch books together, like you apparently were here, you’d have been out in Bridge and East living the good life. L.A. has decent weather, but there is no city life, no buzz, just a few out of the way bars that require driving all over the place for, parking your car w/ valet idiots, and then attempting to drive back home shit-faced. In your case, you have to drive back to your duplex in Reseda, or to your baby mama’s place in Bakersfield, so I’d think you’d be even more annoyed w/ your shitty little lot in life.
May 14th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Straight Talker,
LOL! Have fun with those overweight JAP chicks! Every straight male who has been to both cities confirm that LA has way hotter women. They’re in great shape and take care of themselves. Have you even been to LA? The clubs, bars, and lounges have some of the most beautiful women in the world, not to mention the beaches and all the cool outdoor places.
You’re a freaking homo if you care about intelligence in women. You must be one of those guys who got rejected by the hot chicks, so now you look for “smart well-rounded” women to compensate for your insecurities.
By the way, I’m not an analyst. And I’m sure I make more money and date hotter chicks than you. God, you’re a douchebag.
May 14th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Yeah, zero JAPs out in L.A., right. I don’t ever hang at Sutton Place and the UES spots you apparently frequented, so I don’t need to deal w/ that crowd. Which city has more models? I’m glad you didn’t try to defend L.A.’s girls has having anything but a pea brain, as then you’d be lying in addition to being just wrong. I can tell you honestly, having lived in California and New York, that while the weather in L.A. is better, the girls here are hotter if not more demanding, nightlife is far superior both in quality and quanity, and overall lifestyle here is simply better. Now maybe you’re one of those little homos who needs to drive his Volkswagen convertible around town, staring blasting, or perhaps you’ve leased a Porsche Boxter so you can try and pull ho’s that way, and make up for your lack of girth, but here it’s purely what you have to offer and what you can pull on your own. Maybe you’re one of those fat dudes who can’t get by on his own, maybe you need a Boxter, I don’t know, but that’s not my problem, it’s yours. We don’t have to pull up to the club in our car to try and hope to have a chance to meet girls in Manhattan, and that way fat guys get fat chicks (that’s you), and the in shape guys get the hot chicks (that’s me). Now get back to putting together your 18th pitchbook together kiddo, and quit getting off and seeing what I’m going to say next, this is getting old, and I’ve got a cocktail party to hit in a few hours (yes on a Monday, it’s just the way we roll here). Peace out, analyst biatch.
May 14th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
straight talker and jjc,
you guys are obviously back office to be responding to one another so rapidly. get your sh*t together and ST, remember that I like roman numeral tabs, not the BS letters you put in the last book. JJC, I prefer a skim chai latte, not that garbage you brought me today.
since you’ve been bad, no 24 dudes to a 3br house off the highway in hampton bays for you this weekend.
May 14th, 2007 at 5:28 pm
Straight talker, these clowns from the left coast could never hang here. I’d much rather roll at the Star Room or Pink Elephant east on my summer nights in the Hamptons than in that smog/pollution capital of the US that is LA.
May 14th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
ST must be a masochist, cuz the last time I checked with my dick, which was Saturday night, it was much better to show a dumb hot chick my M5 and get laid within 30 minutes than to chat up some “demanding” NYC woman for hours and maybe get an akward hangjob. And while you’re standing there bragging about how much more game you have, I’ll be telling your girl I have something shiny to show her.
May 14th, 2007 at 9:43 pm
I really hope a douchebag like you doesn’t work at RenTech. I can’t imagine those RenTech dorks driving M5 and hooking up with hot chicks.
May 15th, 2007 at 6:42 am
HICKey Freeman?
i’m not a banker or in pe, but i do know suits. and HICKey Freeman is not the look. You really can’t be serious.
i know if a banker came to pitch me in a HICK suit, the show would be over. real ceos where zegna or brioni.
HICKey Freeman…..i’m still laughing.
May 15th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Right !
you are not banker ? What are you doing here ?
But I’m agree with you for Hickey suit, italian suit must be wearing by banker.
May 15th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
whooknew = retail clerk at barney’s who picks up the lingo and tries to seduce women at the gansevoort by telling them he is in PE, but lives in brooklyn because of the vibe.
you may dress the part, but your CUNY education will give you away.
May 15th, 2007 at 8:15 pm
To straight talker’s comment “The dumbest girls in any city [LA] in the U.S., hands down.” I didnt know there existed model girls who were smart. Also, Marquee sucks…Tanjune, Cain,and Pink Elephant are most def the way to roll. To jjc and all the dumb canadians: NYC IS THE BEST FUCKIN CITY, ALL OTHER CITIES WISH THEY HAD WHAT WE ENJOY..we are the REAL Financial Capital of the world, FUCK OFF…
May 15th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
NYC is a city in decline. It has bad weather, overpriced apartments, and ugly women. SF and LA have everything NYC has, in addition to better weather and hotter girls.
May 16th, 2007 at 1:38 am
NYC had its day. London is the real financial capital of the world
May 16th, 2007 at 9:36 am
So, Paris is a small piggy-bank than NYC…miss!
May 16th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
What the fuck is Frenchie even doing in here, this is an English-speaking blog you tool. Have somebody check your grammar before posting in here again, you’re making your countrymen look worse, if that’s possible.
I should clarify on the dumb chicks thing, OK I’ll admit to having taken some dumb chicks, but they had real Bs and Cs, and not fake Ds….the worst. I hate fake L.A. look, get that shit outta here.
May 16th, 2007 at 4:38 pm
I must agree with Straight Talker,the whole LA look is pretty shitty.
May 16th, 2007 at 5:47 pm
StraigtTalker:
“…Marquee on a Thursday night (like I did last night w/ Amanda Hearst, Tinsley Mortimer and their type)”
I went to school with Amanda, and I have to say, I’m pretty surprised to hear that she was at Marquee of all places…..was she paid by Wass to attend? Marquee isn’t exactly hot anymore just because it’s featured in a Moet advertisement in GQ. And who precisely is “their type”? You didn’t know who she was before that night, I’m guessing.
Come talk to me the next time you’re at Goldbar or Tenjune, I’ll be the one at Eugene’s table talking to your girlfriend about the problems with dating a short jew in New York.
May 17th, 2007 at 9:10 am
Tenjune and PE are total nerd-fests. The world has moved to London…its sad none of you unworldly ny/sf/la losers will enjoy the delights of the Volstead and Cucu…or Maison Blanche and Mandalaray in Paris. And actually if any of you fools knew anything about what’s cutting edge, you’d know the Mutek festival going on in Montreal right now offers parties 100x better than anything in ny right now…keep stroking your egos and battling each other to become grandmasters of 28th street and 11th you ignorant plebes…
May 17th, 2007 at 9:37 am
None of you losers can even handle the flow in Chicago. Fck the Coasts and Fck London
May 17th, 2007 at 9:47 am
Chicago…..
***speechless***
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHa..
May 17th, 2007 at 10:43 am
Jesus Christ. I live in Chicago, and it sucks. I can’t wait to move to NYC.
Chicago is a second-tier Midwestern town that tries so hard to be NYC. T