Saturday, December 18, 2004

Black Car

Not winter, but whatever.

It’s 33 degrees with a wind chill factor of 30, I am shivering, and I can already start to see the icicles forming on my individually placed pomade-lathered strands of hair. Merino wool is not as warm as I had presumed.

Then I clench it between my fingers. And like that first vodka tonic, a wave of almost supernatural heat rushes from my hand throughout my body, warming and revitalizing my every inch. The source–my voucher. Oh yes, the voucher–my solace after an 18 hour day, my saviour–even better than an MD sponsored lap-dance at Scores.

I can already see myself inside, laughing at the hoi polloi walking to their subways and taking their yellow taxis. I can already feel the cheap leather I pretend is expensive massaging my aching buttocks. I can hear myself commanding the driver in his cute black uniform as if he were the pool boy at my parents cottage in East Hampton. It’s my own little paradise.

Too bad there are f*ing 15 people in line in front of me.

10 comments for this post.

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  1. +1 votes + -
    ishouldbereading Said:

    I LOVE this blog! Keep it coming!

  2. +2 votes + -
    LevFinPimp Said:

    I agree, I am laughing my ass off! However, most of this shit rings very very true.

  3. 0 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    even after 14 blog entries, this one?s still my favorite.

  4. -11 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Know what? If you are going to attempt at being elitist, at least recognize ”the hoi polloi” is inncorrect. ”The” is redundant. Know what the f*** you are talking about, and until then, enjoy riding in a towncar (Not even a Cartier S edition? Loser.)

  5. +10 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Some urge that since “hoi??? is the article “the hoi polloi??? is redundant; but the general rule is that articles such as ”the??? and “a??? in foreign language phrases cease to function as such in place names, brands, and catch phrases except for some of the most familiar ones in French and Spanish, where everyone recognizes “la”??”for instance??”as meaning “the.??? “The El Nino??? is redundant, but “the hoi polloi??? is standard English.

  6. +2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    excellent grammar lesson.

  7. +18 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    If you are going to try to sound smart on an anonymous blog, the least you can do it re-word the information you just learned from a google search.

  8. +2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Or you could learn how to type ..

  9. +2 votes + -
    Serious Beef Injection Said:

    So many stupid pretentious bastards on this board! The ”bydlo”, the riff-raff of this world, thanks for helping me practice my English motherfuckers!

  10. 0 votes + -
    CorpLawStudent Said:

    This site is great but when the f**k is the author going to post some new stuff?

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