Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Thank You For Quitting
Several times a year, I receive a forward in which some young analyst at an Investment Bank has flipped out, decided to quit, and written an embittered email manifesto to his group detailing his thought process. These emails ring of both anger and haste, and, without fail, they carry the tone of “I’m meant to be doing something better than this.”
I read these emails, and I chuckle. I laugh not only because these kids are raging pussies but because their naiveté is overwhelming. It’s as if they’ve had some sort lack of sleep induced revelation and are convinced that their true “path” has suddenly become clear—they aren’t meant to be working on pitch books for deals that alter the global economic landscape or doing complex analysis—they’re meant to be “using their minds.”
The most recent one of these emails is from a young analyst at some small shop called “UBS.” I hadn’t really heard of it before, but apparently they are not only “everywhere,” they’re “right next to me.” To which I say: How the fuck did you creep up into my prestigious-ass building, UBS? And no, I do not want your estate planning services!
Anyway, don’t get me wrong. I appreciate hubris; I applaud it. But when someone is so deluded to think that he is better than Banking, he is advertising his stupidity. These kinds of people don’t understand the solid fundamentals that come with getting one’s hands dirty, and it’s obvious that these quitters are just scared of a little hard work and the occasional all-nighter.
Grip some Red Bull and shut the fuck up, kids—everyone has to put in dues. You think Scott Kapnick was bitching about long hours when he started out? What would have become of King Leonidas if instead of braving the cold and killing that beady-eyed wolf, he had just set his spear down on his desk and ran away like a sissy? They would have ended up like you, UBS: jobless.
In the spirit of being scientific, I had the drones over at Sunday, LLC (appropriately, the sad little personal assistant startup of an ex-CS-Banker) pull me some historical data on all these “Fuck you. I quit” Banking defectors. Ran a quick little regression, and the results were just as I had speculated: R2 of 1.0 with the line going straight to shit.
Turns out that storming out of finance violates what some might call “the cardinal fucking rule”—it leaves you no outs. Those that have left are forced to take on small business ventures, work random in-house corporate finance jobs, and return, hat-in-hand, to family businesses. Guys that were once a part of an extremely elite finance set are now living godknowswhere, dreaming of the past and trying to apply their rusty DCF skills to the income they’ve managed to stuff underneath their mattresses (“$12 valuation, baby! Woo!”).
So I ask our UBS friend: are you worried about the significance of these data points? Has it occurred to you that perhaps you should have taken a moment to breathe and think before you made such a rash decision, squandering your life and the opportunity you had been so lucky to receive?
Perhaps there should be a counseling center for Bankers on Tilt that could save these young confused souls and guide them back to sanity. Perhaps their MDs should be instructed to give them another shot and forget about the momentary insanity. But then again, perhaps not.
I’m fairly certain all these kids were destined to be pretty shitty Bankers anyway, so the only net loss was that someone missed out on the sheer pleasure of informing them of their bottom tieredness and the joy of presenting them with a measly $2k bonus. No big deal.
Thanks for quitting, guys—you would have been weeded out anyway.
September 19th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
sweet.
September 19th, 2007 at 2:45 pm
This site is so meta-douchebag it makes me rethink all of those times that my collar was not popped.
September 19th, 2007 at 2:57 pm
After reading this well thought out article I realize the limited scope and understanding of life the author may possess.
I pose this question: “if a man chooses to engage in other activities that HE enjoys more, does that make him a pussy”
You speak so heavily about this mans lack of work ethic and fear of a challenge, but do you know any of these things to be true? Have you met him? Do you know where his long term ambitions lie?
You rant and rave about how prestigious banking is and how they are working on “deals that alter the global economic landscape”, and how lucky these kids are that they were entrusted with such a position in the first place. While I appreciate banking and the extreme work ethic of bankers (or just stick around long enough effort), I hesitate to conclude that they have been ‘blessed’ by being a banker. Banking may not be for everyone, but we cannot say that this person is a “pussy” or a “quitter” because he realized that banking may not be for him.
If we were to make such an idiotic statement, then we would have to label everyone who ever interned at a bank and then turned down an offer a quitter or pussy.
I am a banker, and I can state that not everyone has the greatest ambitions and work ethics. Many people just try to hang around long enough to get through their 2 years of hell and then kick back, order seamless, yell at the new analyst, and live the sweet life. I challenge you to understand that banking is a PASSION FOR FEW and a JOB for many.
I can all but assure you that there are many people in banking who work ridiculous hours at a job that they neither are passionate about nor enjoy, simply because they are afraid to lose that banker salary, year end bonus, and all of the other introductions to “the sweet life”. Many people become complacent and mundane simply because they are afraid of failing at their true passions and desires.
We only have one life to live
So if a person works a good part of their life, at something that they do not enjoy, simply because of their fears… then who is the real pussy?
Food for thought
September 19th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
Really fucking ‘profound’, Visionary… How much time did you pour into that? I guess working on the Equipment Finance desk at KeyBanc allows time for that kind of bullshit.
September 19th, 2007 at 3:53 pm
Most entertaining comment ever
September 19th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
visionary…. are you the homo that went to middlebury… #1 shut the fak up, #2 quit our industry and #3 go open up a florist in chelsea with your boyfriend so u can be happy…
anyone correcting my grammar and spelling is just like visionary…be warned…i’m a trader with a big dong and don’t have time to run spell check like you homoz, so peace in your crease…
September 19th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
First of all Mr. “Visionary,” you gave yourself a gay name that basically summarizes that you are a pathetic fuck who has a holier than thou attitude. Anyone who has ever participated in banking or M&A has been blessed to touch the upper echelon of financial activity and there is no denying it. Finance is definitely not for everyone, nor it perks and requirements. It does require a commitment and work ethic that surpasses that common man, it pushes us to our limits and we are better for it. So before you come in here saying that it is just a job, you should rethink your homoerotic existentialist commentary and shut the fuck up, because this is the sport of champions.
September 19th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
getting AIDS > being a trader
September 19th, 2007 at 5:10 pm
It’s the same shit they put doctors through.
You should figure that about half of the people
who get hired are people that God Did Not Mean
for Them to be in This Business.
I worry more about the ones who put up with it,
because of the salary or their parents or some
such thing, when they never really cared
about finance or economics or about money
except to spend it. _Those_ people worry me.
September 19th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
yo keepinitreal…your a losah~ big d
September 19th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
Physicians have it worse actually. Same terrible hours, just as abused and torn apart by superiors, except we have four years of debt and no hope of a decent salary. I don’t feel sorry for bankers. I admire them, but I don’t pity them. Presumably we’re all the cream of the crop intellectually, and we can handle the pressure and the workload. The weak are weeded out; it isn’t about lacking or sacrificing our “true passion”.
September 19th, 2007 at 6:31 pm
Why the fuck are you loosers reading this stuff and getting upset. Obviously us bankers are having fun here and if you do not understand our humor get lost you med school jerks…
Keepinitreal, don’t take any shit from “anonymous” just put it on his chin..
September 19th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
I’m pretty sure UBS is a good bank right?
September 19th, 2007 at 7:04 pm
hahahah,
yes,
FUCK UBS
September 19th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
isn’t PE the upper echelon of financial activity?
i thought you just do IBD so that you can get into PE???
September 19th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
Umm, I was empathizing and echoing everyone’s reaction to ‘visionary’. I’m not sure how that was interpreted as me getting upset, not understanding humor, and being a jerk. Strange…
September 19th, 2007 at 8:53 pm
Obviously it’s an individual’s decision to quit their job. If they think, albeit generally foolishly, that quitting their job for more free time (and less money) will provide them with more utility than making an excellent salary, then they should quit their jobs. While it is probable tha there are some talented bankers with lots of potential, the general case is that these quitters would not be qualified to fulfill the more demanding roles of finance. Natural selection.
September 19th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
What a puss!
September 19th, 2007 at 9:31 pm
I’ve read better. This seems like a straight out b1tch without the satire…
Not good.
September 19th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
this new post came too soon.
i’m still thinking about how georgetown sucks, how chicago is laughable and fat, and how the only path to nirvana is thru PE/HF.
September 19th, 2007 at 11:22 pm
why do people take this so seriously?
September 20th, 2007 at 4:55 am
“The most recent one of these emails is from a young analyst at some small shop called “UBS.” ” classic!
to be honest, they are probably random visitors, a bit philosophic for the edgy banker.
September 20th, 2007 at 7:28 am
Why in the world are people actually trying to intellectually debate this article??? Anyone who works in banking (bulge bracket banking that is) knows the game and knows the jokes…it’s all for fun guys get your game up, or have a banker explain the rules to you before you go get mad…it’s all locker room talk
September 20th, 2007 at 7:29 am
hey non banker chick…
you should drop those med school books and play hide the kilbassa between your junk… then you may loosen up a little…
if you can’t find anyone to tap that, don’t worry we can organize the first banker gang-bang of “non banker chick”.. of course we will need to put a bag over your busted face, and get that fat arse to slim down before the event, but in any case looking forward to seeing you… i’m sure you’ll appreciate this international waspy player…
peace in your crease
September 20th, 2007 at 7:32 am
I worked in M&A as an analyst, and whoever thinks that is the upper echelon of global financial activity is delusional. When you are doing buy-side advisory for tpg or bain cap you’re not the “BSD” in the room - they are. You’re the one endlessly pitching and groveling for business, and then when you get a deal, as an analyst you work on such a small part it’s hard to feel like you’re touching any upper echelon, or that you’re doing anything all that important.
I’m going to assume that you’re an analyst, M&A mybankroll dude, so here’s a free tip - get in at a solid PE firm, join the finance elite, and stop living off success fees. If you’re an associate/VP and still in M&A, keep living the dream of siphoning fees off other peoples greatness….
September 20th, 2007 at 7:37 am
UK FOOTBALL. BEAT THE HOGS. GO CATS!
PS: You are all losers!!!
September 20th, 2007 at 8:40 am
Weak. It just didn’t add anything to DealBreaker’s coverage and it wasn’t very funny. What happened to the brilliance of the Shitshow, Free Meal Melissa and Overdelivering?
September 20th, 2007 at 10:10 am
Why work with people you hate for 10 bucks an hour when you can work with people you like for 50?
Trying to leave quietly on a Sunday morning is best done by packing up your stuff; not sending an e-mail to a small group of people your departure would effect negatively.
A bunch of people on the street who have never (and hopefully will never) work with the kind of ludicrous people who make up UBS Healthcare shouldn’t knock it before they try it. At least there’s an opening there!
My last internship in banking, I got asked to miscount for around 250 million dollars to show to the FED - wow what a great run of it I’ve had in IBD.
September 20th, 2007 at 10:45 am
Had to read that one again - CLASSIC!
Note the comments on that thread as well - less banker/rapper oneupmanship.
Dated a colleague in IBD who would wear her heels to bed and grind them into the small of my back. Ooorah!
September 20th, 2007 at 11:42 am
anon Said:
September 19th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
this new post came too soon.
i’m still thinking about how georgetown sucks, how chicago is laughable and fat, and how the only path to nirvana is thru PE/HF.
………………………………………..
Still crying about that rejection letter huh? Georgetown is a great school. You don’t come out like every other cookie cutter UPenn D-Bag and you still get the same or better jobs when you get out…..
September 20th, 2007 at 11:47 am
Do people actually think i-bankers are the intellectually “elite”? Obviously there are some, but the majority of my class is very, very mediocre. Doctors far surpass most finance people, whether it is banking, trading, or asset management.
September 20th, 2007 at 11:48 am
listen you bich melissa,
first of all suck a big banker dik!!
second, us in banking are true gangstas, we smack biches like you with our cash wrapped around our diks over your forehead…
the “oneupmanship” you are talking about, is because bankers and rappers are one of the same, we like hot chicks, bottle service, fast cars, fancy clothes and finally we spit some mad game/insults to anyone who crosses our way…
aaaight?! peace in your crease
September 20th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
comments are much funnier than the article this time…
September 20th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
I read your comments and I can’t stop thinking that this industry has become a playground for you fucking 20 something year old fuckers with small dicks and huge personal deficits… go get a live, a personality and a real vision, go do something with your lives and become adults for god’s sake… you live a bullshit dream and you think you are something… what idiots you are… that’s why we need a real downturn so that all of you who think you are great get fired and live the miserable live you deserve
September 20th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
dear rubi rubirosa,
i’m a little hurt by your comments…do you honestly think that just because we write all this crap on here, we actually think/act/behave this way???
HELLLL YEAAA WE DO!!!!
so why don’t you take that rubiks cube of your name and show it up your anal cavity and leave it in there till all the colors line up, bicccch
peace in your crease
September 20th, 2007 at 2:06 pm
there are only 3 universities harvard, yale and princeton, and only 2 banks: MS and GS!
September 20th, 2007 at 2:12 pm
jesus…all the real hitters are gone and in their wake only the feeble put downs of a new 1st yr class remain. sad. i would blow my head off if i worked with any of you buttfucks.
September 20th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
I’m an I-banker at a bulge bracket firm and I’m better than you because I make more money than you…
(see everyone, this is an example of satire and sarcasim. Maybe, just maybe, the author of this piece was making fun of the few bankers and workers in finance who actually believe the ridiculous comments that were put forth here. I actually do work in a bulge bracket bank and I can tell you that those opinions are not prevelent and those who do hold these opionions are scorned and ridiculed. And for someone who does act like that, your coworkers are probably ripping you apart behind your back. Finance, like everything else, has its stereotypes. So why doesn’t everyone stop taking this website so seriously and realize that it is all in jest. Sometimes I don’t know what is funnier; the article or the morons who react to it thinking these thoughts are truly held by those in the financial sector).
September 20th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
keepinitreal Said:
“second, us in banking are true gangstas, we smack biches like you with our cash wrapped around our diks over your forehead…”
Tell me, was that PA or Exeter you attended?
September 20th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
yo buyside, to answer your question i went to monte rosa in montreux… put that in your crack pipe and smoke it.
and testes, instead of blowing your brains off why don’t you blow buyside, looks like you two butt sex lovers would enjoy that..
September 20th, 2007 at 2:53 pm
wow this piece sucked more dick than kobe tai
September 20th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
yeah that UBS guy lasted only what… less than a month? true calling hit him at like 6:40 something in the morning on a sunday. i work there, same building, not a banker tho, but fckn healthcare group is #1 in the amount of work, its crazy.
see that’s why i can’t do ibanking… as much as i’m interested in finance, i think i’m only cut out to do equities trading, 60-70 hours a week, can’t trade on a sunday, what fckn market is open (unless we’re international).
but hey, somebody’s gotta underwrite the primary market for traders to work on the secondary market right? so, thanks ibankers.
the money, the prestige, the dream….
September 20th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
Penn > Georgetown > smegma > brown
September 20th, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Whats PA or Exeter? Seriously.. I have no clue.
September 20th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
I know at Stanford Graduate School of Business, only ~5% of any given graduating MBA class goes into banking. and actually, it’s sorta looked down upon. If you can get into PE, VC, a hedge fund, etc. then your “BSD.”
From experience in seeing classmates doing recruiting, many newly minted associates (those who made up the 5%) at bulge bracket investment banks were not analysts prior to B-school. So if IBD is so great, why not just enter at the associate level and save the trouble? Wouldn’t that be easier?
It is also worth considering reasons for why so many analysts did not jump back into IBD.
In any case, the Redskins are looking pretty good.
September 20th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
Great article. UBS is pusssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
September 20th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Personally, I just did banking to get into HBS for free.
the money is nice too
September 20th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
My friend at Goldman just spent the last 15 years working 120-hour weeks. He’s 38, hasn’t had a date in all that time, lives alone in a $3M NYC condo, and got passed over last year for PMD. He died of a heart attack last week, and there are few who even care. Masters of the Universe?
September 21st, 2007 at 12:17 am
M&A Haters, step back, before I shoot M&A laserz out of my elbows and superman dat ho
September 21st, 2007 at 6:14 am
If I worked at UBS, I would quit too.
keepingitreal is trying so hard that he makes the poser Gotti crew I saw at Tenjune last week look legit. And we all know you’re DPG, that lame ass wannabe gangsta hooked on phonics ebonic speak ain’t fooling anyone.
September 21st, 2007 at 7:51 am
Enjoyable, but not your best work.
September 21st, 2007 at 7:54 am
Are you black or white?
Did you get your street cred on the mean streets of some cookie cutter suburb?
Your folks worked like dogs in some anonymous middle management or clerical job so that your students loans to state school/ivy/G-town wouldn’t be too large upon graduation.
You had some balls so you kicked ass and got a summer internship and finally an analyst gig in IBD.
So after all that, why come across as some character that you played on Grand Theft Auto -San Andreas?
September 21st, 2007 at 11:10 am
to the jerk who stole my name in the post above..
first of all my parents did not have to work because we are what they call old money, sorry that you actually have to work for a living “il faut prendre la vie comme elle vient”… i’m fortunate enough to have gone to monte rosa in montreux, switzerland then yale.. i hope this quick little background answers your pathetic proletaire question.. now lets get back to business
oh yes, i am half black half white.. white from the waiste up and black from the waiste down.. you may wonder how that is possible.. let me explain: you see there are a lot of haters like you out there. i am the chosen one, the “ubermensch”, to hypnotize you with my blue eyes then take out my black 18 inch kilbasa and smack you across your chin..
thats how we keep it real, son… we just grindin hittin brazilian dimes from behind
September 21st, 2007 at 11:22 am
Call me old school but fresh grads who look for life balance in the first years of their career puzzle me. Or the ones who get crushed by doing the dirty work.
Do you want it or do you want it?
If you want it but you don’t want to put in the hours, well … thank you for quitting indeed.
September 21st, 2007 at 12:22 pm
All these dickheads claiming to be bankers are fake. If you are real banker you wouldnt have time to write such stupid comments cause you be pulling allnighter on Pitch books.
September 21st, 2007 at 1:32 pm
If you’re going to be a bitch and quit you might as well sack up and do something badass like go kill terrorist. Like this guy did:
“When I finally got the courage to face the fact that this was no way to live, that I wanted to make a mark on my world that I would be proud of, I walked out of my job without giving notice, broke off the engagement with my fiancée, sold everything I owned, and enlisted in the Army. My childhood dream had been to be in the special forces, and I was going to chase that dream.
I am now a 31 year-old soldier in the Special Forces of the United States Army [known by the media and non-military people as “green berets”]. I choose not to disclose my real name for PERSEC (personal security) reasons, so on this site I will go as “Nick Sadler.” The US Government pays me to protect this nation and further it’s interests: I oppose those who threaten the security of the state and I train and assist American allies in their furtherance of mutually compatible foreign policy and US national security. I am in the special forces, I love my job, I love my life, and I am proud of who I have become.”
http://www.hoo-ah.net/
That’s right bitches get the fuck out of dodge. Just remember for every nancy out there without the sac to make the dream the reality there are four people waiting in the wings who would abuse an elderly person to get the shot.
So if you’re going to throw away your chance for the love of God do something with the education our fine nation provided you; like blow shit up.
September 21st, 2007 at 2:10 pm
Mauldin = http://youtube.com/watch?v=kHmvkRoEowc
September 21st, 2007 at 3:18 pm
I dont know why anyone feels the need to opine about the article. This site is for entertainment purposes,
If you dont like it, dont read it.
That being said, I think its utterly retarded for those outside finance to read this… I dont read your blogs about waitressing or struggling on 40 grand salaries
As analysts, associates or JVPs, we all need a break from the stress and work that weights on us. I enjoy reading every article posted simply because it beats reading 10Ks or those damn credit and O&M agreements on intralinks
September 21st, 2007 at 3:54 pm
HOW the FUCK do people not realize this site is a big joke that satirizes bankers’ lifestyles. Its so blatantly obvious yet somehow half of the comments are always taken up by dumb fucks who can’t get the glaring sarcasm of the writer. I think getting hit by a bus on a daily basis will be good for your health.
September 21st, 2007 at 4:39 pm
I am wondering,
How many of our MD’s actually go on this site,
because a lot of stupid people are calling themselves Md’s when they are all loser interns or analyst like the rest of us.
and 3mill is not a lot compared to where i live
September 21st, 2007 at 9:05 pm
Man, you guys all need to take a chill pill. It’s just a fuckin’ blog. Damn, you all need to get the fuck outta NYC every once in a while. You are taking this way to seriously.
September 22nd, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Haha this is brilliant, never seen so many angsty interns/analysts bullshitting so hard. So tell me why most ppl leave IB after making a lot of money and go set up their own business or indeed change careers completely? Surely its not because of the 60-70 hour weeks or the fact that we are contributing nothing meaningfull to society? Just a thought
September 22nd, 2007 at 5:50 pm
HAHAHAHA,
What bank to you work at West Coast Banker.
If you did not realize all of us bankers are uptight assholes. It is one of the side affects of 120 hour weeks and 5 red bulls a day.
And also, we all set up our own businesses because we want to become the next Morgans and Goldmans. I mean when I turn 30 and become an MD, I am using my trust fund(sounds immpressive, but not much) and starting a company.
September 22nd, 2007 at 9:04 pm
Ha ha, so now the wigga gets all offended that I made fun of his inbred mommy and daddy. You grew up in Europe, you went to Yale, ergo you suck 18 inch penis.
Keep it real, stay in character son. Yo’ old man and old lady didn’t have to work because they was on the welfare rolls. First of tha’ month, cracka trash!
September 22nd, 2007 at 9:16 pm
Ahh, your time in New Haven. Ignored by all social groups,huddling in the corner at Toad’s nursing a beer, hating the people who look past you, yet wanting any semblance of human contact.
You, the descendant of privilige and syphillis, to be maligned so? “My daddy’s an inbred dandy, respect me!”
Still, there’s hope. To be “street,” to do the pimp walk in your Tod’s…yes, there is a way out.
September 22nd, 2007 at 9:47 pm
Sadly, I am 2nd generation here from Florence, Italy. Which, assuming you are a complete dumbass and know nothing, is where banking orginated during the Renaissance.
I did not go to Yale, that would be an insult. I went to Wharton School of Business, I hope you know what that is.
unlike you, i do not want to be a pimp or a “gangster” because they are sad people who never amount to anything. i can guess how you got into Yale…
September 22nd, 2007 at 9:49 pm
and dude,
how old are you, unless you are majoring in ebonics at Yale, I would not speak like that. or you could be one of the affirmative action cases. i like to see where a “supposedly” good education brings you, especially when it was a “free ride”
September 23rd, 2007 at 11:36 am
going back to visionary - thank you for that comment. I really needed something to kill my hangover after the usual hefty night at Cain. and you just made me laugh histerically.
first of all, stop reading this blog, because you apparently don’t get the point of it.
second, quit your miserable back office position in operations, and follow your true passion for Sophocle literature.
please do a favour to the world, leave and stop contaminating our refined industry with your homo thoughts.
i bet you scored 800 on your LSATs, wacko.
September 23rd, 2007 at 5:58 pm
Tenjune? Cain?
If you’re “living the lifestyle” I hope you can do better than jersey and long island girls in forever 21. You don’t actually have to be a banker to get them. You could save yourself the 120 hour work weeks and just lie-stupid girls won’t know the difference.
Now b8, beatrice, waverly girls are a whole different story…
September 24th, 2007 at 8:11 am
Wharton Bitch: Anyone who has actually gone to Wharton knows that it is The Wharton School of Economics, or, more appropriately, simply The Wharton School. At least get the name straight if you are going to invoke the name of such a sacred institution of quantitative learning.
September 24th, 2007 at 9:01 am
keepinitreal-
On the previous post, there was this royal douchebag known as Dog Pound Gangsta. This ‘online bada$$’ would spend all of his time writing unbelievable posts of sexual conquests with models, penis length, club swagger, bonuses, etc. all in his trademark ‘gangsta’ lingo…much like how you would hear the skinny virgins at the dork lunchtable of any white suburban public highschool boast. Then one day, after talking trash online after 1am on a Saturday, very ‘unballer-like behavior’, he quickly cameback and claimed a rediculous story of a threesome in New Zealand to cover his tracks. But this didn’t work. He was called out and the ‘Dawg’ left with his tail between his legs, never to comment on this site again.
Now there is a new a post. No DPG, but some “new” jive talking douchebag who calls himself ‘keepinitreal’ who again is sitting around taliking trash on a Saturday night. Could this be DPG, Watson?
keepinitreal/DPG- you are not a ‘balla’. You are in fact a p#ssy. Anyone who sits around on a Saturday night to talk trash to strangers on a website is hardly ‘livin the dream’. And don’t even try to claim that you are at the office on a Saturday night ‘makin benjamins’. That would expose yourself (if you are actually a banker, which I doubt) as deeply junior as the piece of sh#t PIK toggle notes in the latest hung LBO financing. Any BSD would conduct his Saturday night business via blackberry/conference call and have douchebags like you running around at his whim.
I said it before and I’ll say it again - your virginity is painfully obvious…
September 24th, 2007 at 11:53 am
Leave DPG/Keepinitreal ALONE…he is the only entertainment on this site!!
DPG/Keepinitreal, are you coming to see me later today??
September 24th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
My first staff resigned after less than 3 months working with me. Consumed by guilt - could I have been nicer, given him easier tasks, been less demanding, …
After managing more people, I realized there was nothing wrong with me. He was a pussy.
September 24th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Bottom line, if anyone first year can’t handle doing their 2 years, collecting their 350K and using the benefits of their experience to take them where they want then they may not be “pussies” but they are “idiots”… If you want to be a liberal hippy and save the rain forest after your 2 years, I am sure you will be able to save a BETTER rainforest after doing banking.
September 24th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
aaaaaaaaaaaa snaaaap!!!!
i got you bitchaz right where i want.. now let me school you sucka MCz how i slap my schwanzenstuck all over yo mamaz ear lobes..
first of all lets clear up one thing.. if you look at my last post, it reads september 21st 11am, which is last friday you butt-munch and not saturday 11pm.. that post came from “HEY keepintreal” you douchebag…. do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d had enough oxygen at birth you moron? second, i am not “Dog Pound Gangsta” although his style was aaaight, he sold out.. there is a new sheriff in town bich, and i’m gonna cut your ballz off and feed it to your momz.
now lets get to this “goldman bich”… although you work in a good starter bank, you have no right to dis your father like that.. just because you have a gangsta 4 button banana republic suit, latest square toe aldo shoes with the thick rubber soles and the $45 vineyard vines tie to put it all together, doesn’t give you the right to insult me like that. also, if i may, i know that wharton is an excellent institution, my biggest idol in finance is a fellow alum of yours, what’s his name again oh yea, donald trump… what a badass, i love that guy… who do we yalies have, hmmmm, i guess pretty much every single president of the US and all captains of industry…. listen “goldman bich” , you are the kind of man that you would use as a blueprint to build a facking idiot. going back to that great school of yours; you guys are great with numbers, very technical, bravo.. that is exactly what was in mind when former yalies built wharton. to have above par number crunchers to do our grunt work… now get back to that bichbook, while i go play golf… next time you run your mouth like that i will take off my hermes cravate, tie it around your ballz, rip’em off, and feed it to that “anonymous’” mofoz momz, bich… sucka dik!!!
peace in your crease!
September 24th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
nathan vasser is completely correct. quitting as an I-banking analyst is the most short-sighted, retarded decision one can make. Forget two years - how about finishing just one year. even if it means doing a mediocre job.
that ubs clown is a dipshit who just closed the door on a large number of non-banking career opportunities.
September 24th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
I love it when you sound all gangster like…keepitup keepinitreal!!!
September 24th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Arf. Goo goo gah gah.
September 24th, 2007 at 4:36 pm
In regard to the debate of over my sacred institution’s name:
It is The Wharton School of Finance (with “The” included and with the second syllable of Finance emphasized).
The Wharton School of Finance may teach other (lesser) subjects, such as Management, Accounting, and Marketing (for those who choose to smoke marijuana cigarettes throughout their undergraduate education). But, with which our most cherished alumni would agree (see Warren Buffet, Steven Cohen, and Donald Trump), it is really The Wharton School of Finance.
September 24th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
What is the best Non-ivy School to get into banking from then… UCLA, michigan, texas, indiana, georgetown, notre dame, etc????
September 24th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
keepin’ it real…you yale ‘07?
September 24th, 2007 at 5:22 pm
Non Ivy? Funny quip.
September 24th, 2007 at 6:00 pm
you forget that the closest any UBS deal will come to altering the global economic landscape is pushing the real banks that much higher on the league tables
September 24th, 2007 at 6:11 pm
The guiltiest pleasure on this site is watching the hacks reveal themselves by overreacting to these writings as they furiously bang on their keyboards whilst cozily nestled in their back office cubicles, or makeshift conference rooms at some Accenture project.
September 24th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
Tim, public schools are pathetic, and the midwest is flyover country. Get a grip. Where is Indiana again? I get all those POS states confused.
September 24th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
THE Wharton School of fiNANce…isn’t that a vocational school or something?
September 24th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
keepingitreal,
That was pretty funny “the latest square toe aldo shoes”. I’m still laughing at that. Stick it to these posers!
Bulldog, bulldog, bow wow wow!!
Y ‘04
September 24th, 2007 at 8:07 pm
yea, it is pretty funny.
I would say most of the people here are just losers from lesser banks trying to seem like they are cool.
guys, i hope you are not making fun of ubs on your work computer. they may throw you out of ubs.
September 25th, 2007 at 2:56 am
westside, bad boy killaz
September 25th, 2007 at 5:51 am
The actual name of Wharton is just “The Wharton School”.
M&T: SEAS ‘01, WH ‘01
September 25th, 2007 at 5:58 am
Donald Trump is a joke, he had to transfer in.
September 25th, 2007 at 10:52 am
Tim,
Public schools suck. If you want to go non-ivy look at Williams, Amherst, Stanford, and Duke.
Regards,
GS
September 25th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
You think your lives are hard. Come to my kitchen. I work harder, longer, and I don’t get paid what you do.
September 25th, 2007 at 1:07 pm
Tim,
some of the best non ivy schools are;
chattanooga community college, cornell, ohio state, university of pennsylvania, devry, ITT technical institute, brown, idaho college for farming, dartmouth, university of wyoming…
hope these fine non-ivy institutions some day get the respect they deserve
September 25th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
keepin it real forgot to mention Harvard
September 25th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
management & tech is legit
September 25th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Yo Sell-Out, you need to step it up. This post was a bit weak. How can I get you a movie deal with this shit to work with……
September 25th, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Tim / and all of you other back office hacks,
I have worked in a BB for 2 years and PE for now a little more then 1 and I will tell you I am in a Top 15 PE fund and while any with MBAs are from the top 5 schools, the undergrads are all over the place. We have the obvious Ivys, then we have a couple Michigan guys, a couple Indiana Guys, even a Miami of Ohio kid.
Just gotta work that network of yours Tim, not be an idiot, and keep trying.
Don’t let these rejects stop you from trying…
September 25th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
Indiana and Michigan are the anomalies of the public schools. How many Tennesee Volunteers do you see sitting next to you?
September 25th, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Scott W, cut out the constructive advice. This is not the time or place. By the way, we all know that when you say you work at the a “Top 15″ PE firm, you mean the 15th.
September 25th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
Scott W, you are creating a Willy Lowman out of little Timmy.
September 25th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
stop this rambling and get back to your pitchbooks!
September 25th, 2007 at 7:20 pm
Berkeley, bitches !
September 25th, 2007 at 8:31 pm
VC is where its at bitches. In at 10, out at 5. Google returns 20x the fund. No bending over for Kravis like you pussies.
September 25th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
anon-
you don’t work at a VC fund otherwise you’d know that VC pays shit relative to hedge funds and PE.
you’d also know that people move from VC to HF/PE, almost never the other way around.
September 25th, 2007 at 11:14 pm
the only non-Ivy schools that are worth talking about are MIT, Stanford, and maybe duke.
that’s not to say all Ivy schools are worthwhile - brown, cornell, dartmouth…pure shite.
September 26th, 2007 at 3:48 am
Well played, sir.
September 26th, 2007 at 7:50 am
Rubi Rubirosa Said:
September 20th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
I read your comments and I can’t stop thinking that this industry has become a playground for you fucking 20 something year old fuckers with small dicks and huge personal deficits… go get a live, a personality and a real vision, go do something with your lives and become adults for god’s sake… you live a bullshit dream and you think you are something… what idiots you are… that’s why we need a real downturn so that all of you who think you are great get fired and live the miserable live you deserve
Uhhh, fired time is called vacation. Its when we get a whole year off to spend the Summer in the Hamptons, Fall and Spring in Europe, and the Winter in Aspen. The difference between you and us is that we ar