Monday, June 18, 2007

Sheer Suckers

Luna Park Union Square -- Summer Finance Banking Intern Assbaggery

I like my women like I like my loafers: expensive, fit, and more often than not, with a bit of bling around their necks. They’re probably my two favorite things in the world, women and loafers. Put to it, I’m not even certain which one I’d pick over the other. I’d normally be tempted to select women, but, it is summer right now, meaning that until the government mandates a universally implanted, 3-month contraceptive device (sans mood swings), the winner would have to be my loafers—the ones I can safely slip into bareback.
Note: My affinity for black and brown loafers does not quite carry over to their female counterparts.

But summer means more to me than just unprotected loafer-sex. Summer means Coral Reef, Jake Blue, and Bermuda Pink. It means timeshares, outdoor dining, and Bethpage Black. It means a seersucker hoodie when it’s a bit nippy, and seersucker shorts when it’s not. Summer means various things to various people, but one thing it means for most people in finance and all of New York is: interns.

In what other scenario is a city so flooded with impressionable, overeager, and clueless minds as summer in Manhattan? I’m told there is a similar wave of little political interns towards D.C. this time of year, but frankly, I’m not even certain they get paid. And anyway, what is the overall impact of that industry when compared to that of finance? Negligible. Don’t get me wrong—activism is to be applauded, but only in hedge funds.

Back to the subject. Emotionally, summer interns act intimidated and obsequious. And even if they hate finance, they are hyper-aware of the comfort that would come with getting an offer (a feeling perhaps only comparable to early action / decision to college), and they are driven accordingly. This is their entire psychology, terribly simple and uninteresting.

Instead of dwelling on that though, let’s consider a quick cultural analysis of the average undergraduate finance summer interns in New York, which is more interesting only in that we can amuse ourselves with their naiveté:

Where They Live

From 14th Street to 200 Water, New York University dorms get filled with juniors working in finance seeking summer housing. These units sometimes also house foreign graduate students (law, even). They often are minuscule. And they, without fail, have the pungent smell of Tier Four exuding from the walls (Does the stench come from that little torch that is their emblem?).

Tragically, the time when New York University’s dormitories are filled with the most intelligent students is the summer, when very few of the students attend NYU. One can only hope the NYU administration is aware of this and hoping some of the brainpower will rub off.
Note: Frugal Midwestern State School X students interning at Houlihan H(L)okey are known to spend their entire summers in one of New York’s, communal-bathroom “youth hostels.”

What They Wear

Like their unpolished speech, summer interns’ fashion is a bit too frat. They can easily be spotted by their brand spanking new canvas messenger bags and shoes from Aldo. No joke, I even saw one on the street with white socks and black pants—must have been a rough day at work for him. Interns are universally clueless, but perhaps most tragic is that many have gone out with their mothers and intentionally invested in their “sweet” new threads. Come on Intern Mom—I know this shit wasn’t acceptable in your day, either.

Where They Go Out

Summer interns beam proudly when they’re out at someplace like Bowery Bar, the South Street Seaport, or that horrendous bar in the middle of Union Square; they’re almost endearing all lined up drinking Rum & Cokes or Long Island Iced Teas or god knows what. They will also spend a fair amount of time at the Hudson Hotel, Maritime, and waiting in line outside the Gansevoort, but the summer intern will, unequivocally, wet his pants and leave the bar/club scene behind if he even hears mention of a “rooftop party” (2 Gold! 45 Wall! et.al.).

Inspecting this culturally-unrefined species, it’s frightening to think that many interns will one day join the ranks of real Bankers and leaders of their generation. It’s scary to consider the massive amount of responsibility that will be placed on those young shoulders in just a couple years. It’s almost a miracle that the system functions.

But interns aren’t all bad, and there is a bright side to having my city flooded with them—it’s even more easy than usual for an established finance guy like me to woo a young female. “Deal flow,” as it were, is greatly increased.

As a matter of fact, I’m currently filtering a list I’ve aggregated from friends still at banks for a girl intern to invite out to East Hampton for an unofficial information session. I’ll mentor and guide her through all the tough questions she’s facing: was it ok that she was having some trouble understanding how to create a restructuring model for a bankrupt corporation with multiple cross-border divisions?—Sure, girls aren’t expected to complete the difficult work anyway. Will it be tough on her as a woman in finance?—No, she’s cute. And will it be bad if she doesn’t get an offer?—Yes, she won’t be able to leverage that offer for a better one, and she might end up working at a place whose name doesn’t incite envy. Imagine that.

She’ll nod (too frequently, as if she’s in class) through all of this, and her eyes will widen when I casually tell her the tale of the credit agreement I just negotiated. It was just for the revolver; but hey, that word even turns me on. Then, when she’s sufficiently impressed, I’ll bust out my new Tods1 (white stitching and tie) which will undoubtedly push her over the top.

Hopefully, if I filter well enough, my summer intern will be one with an unnaturally clear, acne-free complexion, and I’ll be able to simultaneously experience my two favorite things in the world, sockless.

—–
1Intern chicks don’t even require the real high-end shit.


297 comments for this post.

RSS Feed for Comments

  1. -2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    If you were anything other than a wannabe, you would not be playing golf at Bethpage, my friend. Enjoy your 5 hour round of golf with the rest of New York! You used to be entertaining?..

  2. +7 votes + -
    balls yet to drop Said:

    Louis Winthorp?good to see CS is still the same? fuckin hilarious post The only redeeming aspect of my summer spent at CSFB was its proximity to shake shack.

  3. -1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Something here screams, ”Poser!” Is it the shoes, Bethpage, or the interns? I don?t know it?s just not consistent. Here are some things you won?t do this summer: -Hook up with an intern -Break 100 on Black -Commit capital

  4. +1 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    anybody lacking the creativity to come up w/ a name other than the default Anonymous is a pillow-biter, plain and simple.

  5. +6 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    WTF??? who?s been using my nome du plume???

  6. +11 votes + -
    pe god Said:

    Shouldn?t you banking pussies stop wasting time and get back to jerking it to excel before your md finds out?

  7. -5 votes + -
    palladium Said:

    bar none is the shit

  8. +8 votes + -
    To The Hilt Said:

    I?ll tell you one thing Chicago has that New York doesn?t: 17 year Cicadas. How?s that going for you guys?

  9. +3 votes + -
    Wharton98 Said:

    Interns, Interns, Interns Some are just clueless, others admit they were just hired cause they were good looking, but in the end having 3 work for me is a beautiful thing.

  10. -12 votes + -
    testes-testes-123 Said:

    i fucked your momma, i even fucked your cat. i would have fucked your sister but the bitch was too fat! gyea! as some homo on here says.

  11. -1 votes + -
    can'twaittobeasummerassociate Said:

    hey, what?s wrong with tapping a little 20-year old ass while it?s still impressionable and idealistic? As one previous poster mentioned, it?s good to hit the interns now before the cold ”real world” of NYC makes them bitter and dries up their p*ssies.

  12. +5 votes + -
    IB'in down under Said:

    Problem is you will never even get close to tapping an intern so I hope your loafers are ?accomodating? to your needs

  13. +9 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    i?m restless? it?s already thursday? only 20 hours from the pre-party with the 19-21 year olds at da NYU dorms? 20 hours from a weekend of bliss? of barely legal interns telling me about their dreams of being the next editor of Elle or Cosmo?23 hours before they snuggle up to my cramped NYU single bed? 23 hours and 15 minutes before they shed their Pink panties and allow me to introduce them to NYC at its finest? ahhhhh the sweet sweet smell of NYC summer, coupled with a tinge of midwest muff? is there anything better? testes-testes what?s my usual term? since you took notice, i?ll let you fill in da blank _________!? spell it right and i might let you into da entourage?

  14. +2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    To all you idiots bitching about which city has hotter girls?.YOU?RE ALL FUCKING RETARDED. DP Gangsta had it right: quit arguing about the city?s potential, talk about what you pull. And in any case, I?ve lived in Prague and Munich for some time?girls there are far superior than 95% of US girls. Trust me when I say this: Guys in US have to work much harder to get similar quality ass as compared to Prague/Munich.

  15. 0 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Munich?? Never knew it had such potential. London is great these days as it has become so cosmopolitan, but the best women are and always will be in Paris, lets be honest.

  16. +1 votes + -
    Fashionable Intern Said:

    Some interns wear Christian Loubotins, and Armani Collezioni.

  17. -2 votes + -
    can'twaittobeasummerassociate Said:

    Hello. That?s because Prague and Munich are practically third world countries. Those girls? expectations aren?t gonna be that high.

  18. -5 votes + -
    can'twaittobeasummerassociate Said:

    To IB down under, eat shit.

  19. +1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    To can?twaittobeasummerassociate – you?re an idiot. 1) They are cities, not countries. 2) Germany is a third world country? On what planet. You embody what it is to be a small minded American.

  20. -2 votes + -
    Chicago rules Said:

    Munich is a joke. Prague has decent chicks, but Europeans in general are easier than American women. LA and Chicago are still heads and shoulders above every other city, with regards to the quality of women.

  21. -5 votes + -
    anonymous Said:

    I must throw my two cents into this ridiculous argument??? I think DC is a sleeper city?.some of the hottest and most intelligent women I have ever met, true blonde hair blue eyed beauties similar to the midwest mold no doubt due to their southern roots, but also with the sophistication of their more homely northeastern sisters?..

  22. +8 votes + -
    Back Office Said:

    This is a very tired subject. In the words of my boy DP Dogg, stop playa hatin? from the sidelines. It doesn?t matter how these women look or where they are if you?re doing nothing more than looking at them. If you have trouble bedding New York women, you?re most likely not from New York, it?s as simple as that. Put a guy from New York in any city in the world and they will pull. This theory doesn?t always apply as there are countless inept dudes wandering the streets at night trolling for V and whether or not they?re from NY matters very little for strikeout potential. Some guys are like 7-11, they never close, and that?s fine. That is what rub-and-tugs and strip clubs are for.

  23. +8 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    Wharton98, you are a freaking tool. It?s funny that you think having 3 interns makes you cool, when it really means that you are a lonely banker, dissatisfied with your life, while meanwhile back at home Dogg Pound Gangsta is banging your wife. Back Orifice, i must once again agree with you, and frankly I?m getting sick of you making good points. A guy in New York will tend to pull anywhere else, as he?s learned the art of approaching the most skittish, sensitive women in the world, in a very non-threatening, I?m smart and with it, sort of way, but with the underlying message of ”ultimately, I?m going to fuck you, so let?s go ahead and establish a connection, laugh a little, and enjoy ourselves before we get down to it”. That stance has worked well in my past in places like Greece, Spain, and Norway, though not quite as well w/ midwest townies from Chicago, who hear ”I?m from New York”, and their defensiveness picks up a little. Don?t get me wrong, I?ve still banged a few from there, but it?s a relatively inefficient endeavor. Munich is OK, certainly not one of the best places on the planet, though Prague is great, and many of Eastern Europe?s capitals are getting better and better, full of hotties waiting to get banged.

  24. +4 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    dc for hot women? maybe if your transportation is limited to the accela train. come on gentlemen, 50% of super models come from eastern europe or brazil?prague gets boring after you?ve been to darling cabaret 10 times. but check out dubronik, hvar & montenegro for unbelievable beach side talent. regarding south america, the hottest club in brazil is confreria in floripa brazil. i?ve never seen dozens of paris hilton look alikes turned down from the club bc there wasn?t enough guys?champagne bottle service for 60 Braz Real, or about $30US. but if you want to stay within a ”dc” radius of ny, fly to montreal. go to bueno notes and time cafe..all the waitresses are gorgeous friendly french canadian blonde haired blued eyed dimes, with super low expectations than what your used.

  25. -4 votes + -
    Chicago rules Said:

    Straight Talker, I?m not surprised you struck out in Chicago. The pretentious behavior of NYC douchebags like yourself, has no effect on the Chicago hotties. Now it becomes more clear to me why you hate Chicago. Thanks for revealing your true loser self.

  26. +6 votes + -
    NY es lo millor Said:

    Jo conec tias de Nova York, Els Angeles, Espanya, Frana, Alemanya, Holanda i altres paisos d?Europa les quals quasi m?he les he follat a totes pero per a m i les millors son les de Nova York. No em diguis mentides que les tias de Munich, Praga o L.A, son millors que algunes que viuen a N.Y.C.

  27. +8 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    it appears that we have someone who speaks Catalan amongst us? in that case, might as well throw Bar-th-elona into da mix? There?s nothing like loungin on the topless beaches of bar-th-elona, waiting and scoping until you spot the American tourist?she looks around to make sure no one amongst the sea of topless European hotties is watching her? slowly takes her top off with hesitation and a slight sense of nervousness? tick tock tick tock? seconds seem like minutes? and then it happens!!!!!? little Katie from Chicago has suddenly taken her top off? TOUCHDOWN!!!!! ?. and then your eyes wander around for the next Midwest American tourist? only 9 hours away from da pre-party in da NYU dorms? gyea!

  28. +10 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    Anonymous is right, Hvar and Dubrovnik are full of hotties, and tall ones at that. Hvar has a famous little lounge/bar at the end of the marina area at the port, called Carpe Diem, where you basically cannot get in past 9pm, unless you either have one of the ridiculous yachts along the marina, or speak Croatian. It?s the one time I?ll admit being from New York and navigating our club doormen here had no effect, I was laughing at how ridiculous it was. Even ugly and brutish men and women were getting in due to their Croation connections and/or having a 100 ft. yacht (the club makes it its business to know who the yacht owners are). Luckily if you go there, next door is a pretty sweet spot w/ excellent tables and a great looking crowd that require no bottles or minimums. Chicago rules, you are likely making out each night w/ one of the girls who blew me during b-school?I didn?t say Chicago girls were good for nothing, I just said they are an inefficient endeavor as they are too into every guy they meet being their boyfriend. And like Dogg Pound Gangsta would say, i don?t luhh deez hos.

  29. -4 votes + -
    Chicago rules Said:

    Straight Talker, I doubt you were getting action from hotties at Enclave, Rino, Stone Lotus, etc., when you were a dorky GSB student. Besides, everyone knows that the competition for hot chicks in Chicago is MUCH tougher than NYC. So stop bragging about your mediocre NYC game.

  30. +1 votes + -
    Well aren't you so smart Said:

    Any intern with half a brain (and granted that is not many) can easily see through the lame pick up lines of a big bad investment banker and realize that he?s a pathetic loser wishing he was back in college so he can get with little girls. I?m not disagreeing that most interns will succumb to the bullshit and guys will get an easy lay, it?s just nothing special to brag about if you can bag an intern for the night

  31. +5 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    sounds like Well aren?t you so smart?s girlfriend got banged by a couple of V.P.?s the summer before he met her.

  32. +7 votes + -
    real life Said:

    what man doesn?t want to bang a sweet 21 year old college girl? do they get riper than that?

  33. +7 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    who?s bragging? we?re celebrating barely legal youth! all you chi-town punks can?t appreciate, because you likem like your native son ? R. Kelly style?

  34. +11 votes + -
    Back Office Said:

    Dear LSO, Everyone knows any girl who would sleep with you on the first night is not the type of girl you bring home to mom. My goal at night is to go out and have a responsible and casual night on the town. Meet some young women, converse with them, maybe get their number. Then after a month or so of courting one particular girl, maybe, just maybe we can have missionary sex while I put my member through the hole in my underwear. Sincerely, Well Aren?t You So Smart That was really touching wasn?t it. Hitting several 20 year olds over the course of the summer sucks. Vote Obama.

  35. +3 votes + -
    PE Stud Said:

    Fasionable Intern, I am sure you are right. I am also sure it isn?t you. The key to being a poseur is proper spelling. Go back to the University of Maryland and pass off your Christian Loubotins as Christain Louboutins.

  36. -6 votes + -
    Frenchie Said:

    Come in France, 18 years old is the legal age ? there are also nice girls .

  37. 0 votes + -
    Kushay Kal Said:

    ‘Its scary to consider the massive amount of responsibility that will be placed on those young shoulders in just a couple years.” This is self-aggrandizing talk – you describe interns as if they will be saving lives in 1-2 years. If you were an analyst once, you remember being someone else?s animal for a while (b*tch, spreadsheet monkey, coffee mule, PowerPoint cheetah). lol

  38. +6 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    i?d come in more than just France, Frenchie you need to pick up the pace on your ESL classes, this is getting shameful. Also, a nice girl in France = a West Virginia slut, when it comes down to morals and how fast they?ll pull their tits out.

  39. 0 votes + -
    Frenchie Said:

    I?m sorry for the West Virginia girls?

  40. -7 votes + -
    can'twaittobeasummerassociate Said:

    to anonymous: apparently you?re too small minded to see that I meant they?re third world countries figuratively. What an asshole!

  41. +2 votes + -
    balls yet to drop Said:

    guys?prague sucks?.most of the chicks are russia/ukraine?s rejects?and too many tourists? the real tralala is budapest.. ooo weeeeee. Never seen so much talent and sex appeal?well russia comes close to that (the big cities).

  42. -4 votes + -
    JackBQuick Said:

    Guys?all this arguing back and forth about NYC and Chicago? Both hellholes? come on?.neither compares to LA.

  43. -5 votes + -
    WannaBeDesiBanker Said:

    Bankers are so cool! You guys are funny too the comments prove it.

  44. +1 votes + -
    IB'in down under Said:

    To can?twaittobeasummerassociate, My comment was aimed at the author of this article, not yourself. No offence intended. Hope your weekend is better than mine is shaping up to be!

  45. +1 votes + -
    E Europe FTW Said:

    straighttalker has obviously never been to Hvar if he thinks you can?t get into Carpe Diem without a yacht. This is simply untrue. The rest of the world is not as pretentious as west 27th street. While the women there are beautiful, the crowd is diluted by those unruly looking beasts from Western Europe and the US. The real beauties are in inland Croatia. I was just there. Simply unbelievable talent, 95% model types at this waterside club I went to. We do need to start importing those babes over here. There?s definitely a high demand for them here in the city.

  46. +1 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    I was on Hvar last August, peak season, and trust me, it was ridiculous trying to get in. I had even arranged earlier for a table, got the guy?s name, etc. We ended up chatting w/ our waiter at dinner, who offered to get us in, agreeing that it was difficult if you aren?t Croatian, however he was getting off work at 1am, and I wasn?t going to wait around for hours for a place that honestly isn?t inherently all that special, it?s just ”the place to be” on Hvar. Having said that, I still recommend Hvar, one of the best places I?ve ever been to, hotties everywhere, including lots of topless Italian babes, the best Italians I?ve ever seen actually. JackBQuick, L.A. sucks, get over yourself.

  47. +2 votes + -
    Get a clue Said:

    If you want true local flavor go to Budva in Montenegro or cities like Pula or Rijeka in Croatia. Dubrovnik and Hvar are infested by IB douchebags and fat Germans. Only self obessed, pretentious bankers discuss getting into ONE bar in a whole country.

  48. -1 votes + -
    LA player Said:

    Straight Talker, Hey NYC faggot! Have you ever been to LA? I guess you don?t like the perfect weather, beaches, amazing nightlife, and the most beautiful women in the whole USA. Have fun at Marquee and those other piece of crap NYC clubs this weekend while I party with models in Hollywood Hills.

  49. +5 votes + -
    banks Said:

    la plaer, The only models you see are on your spreadsheet. Also, as DP Gangsta mentioned, rep what you can get; by the sound of your uninformed remarks, I imagine you couldnt close a window..

  50. +6 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    LA penisPlayer, you?re a punk-bitch poser. Guys like you are the characters we see in movies like Made, where on their taxi ride into town (you?d probably better stick w/ the Super Shuttle, come to think of it), they are so awestruck by the buzz here that you queef in your panties. ”Why do they call it the SoHo Grand?”. Been to L.A. many times, love all your little 1960 former motels, now bars/lounges, great real cool. The shit sucks, especially having valet your car everywhere, alcohol stops at 1:45am, and then everybody stands outside, chatting and eventually going to some greasy, fatboy diner, driving drunk the whole way. What a great set-up. I also like the incessant traffic, and nice smoggy air every day. Eat a dick, Manhattan is so above L.A., it doesn?t even deserve much debate. Ask anybody in the world what the top 5, 10 cities on the planet are, and unless you?re in California asking the question, L.A. ain?t appearing on the list. Fucknut.

  51. -5 votes + -
    LA player Said:

    Straight Talker, Have fun taking subway trains and cabs in that ridiculous humidity during the summer. Yuck! As for me, I?ll drive around LA at night, feeling the cool breeze. As for the nightlife, the clubs may close at 2 AM, but there are sick house parties afterwards, filled with models. But I guess you don?t know what that feels like since you?re too busy hitting on nasty bitches at Marquee. Ask any straight male which cities have the most beautiful women, and LA will be at the TOP. Hope that makes sense, fucking faggot!

  52. +2 votes + -
    Back Office Said:

    Yuck! As if! Who are you calling a homosexual again?

  53. +3 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    the name LA player is an oxymoron in and of itself, which tells you where this clown is coming from

  54. +3 votes + -
    Rasputin Said:

    Good post. Not your best, but I got a few good chuckles out of it, particularly the racist comment at the begining. That was a nice touch, perfectly in character. Not only in that he believed it, but most particularly because he felt need to mention it.

  55. +4 votes + -
    seeredsucker Said:

    So how long is it going to take you hopeless people to realize the satire of this site. A few of us out there write in with each posting trying to help reduce the stupid comments you make in hopes that you laugh in your obviously pathetic lives. If you think he is serious, then laugh at him but making hate posts is a waste of your time? and slightly annoying. Good post, can?t wait for more and cheers on your book deal. It is bound to be thrilling.

  56. -3 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Why bankers are pathetic HERE, HERE!

  57. -2 votes + -
    Rappin' Said:

    Very average.

  58. 0 votes + -
    p-town playa Said:

    You guys are fools, arguing between New York and LA. NY-LA is SO 2003. I was there, travelling between the 2 for 3 years. Now, the real action these days is in Pittsburgh, PA. No Joke. Check that shit out, it?s hot

  59. -1 votes + -
    anon Said:

    LA has nothing going for it except weather and lifestyle. Then again, that apparently has made it a wildly popular destination to live. If wasn?t for the finance industry, what would be the point of living in nyc?

  60. -2 votes + -
    joe Said:

    It?s very easy to get an east-coaster to move to california?nearly impossible to do the reverse. of course, it?s also nearly impossible to get a new yorker to move out of new york – unless it?s to a place with lots of jewish people (south florida and maybe malibu)

  61. +3 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    ‘brand spanking new canvas messenger bags and shoes from Aldo” are about as frat as richard simmons.

  62. +3 votes + -
    Willie Stargell Said:

    Pittsburgh is the new French Rivieria, of the U.S. Clubs are starting to get very good now, similar to Manhattan and L.A.?s finest, even better in some cases. There are a couple of spots even doing bottle service at $350 per bottle, that shows how well we?ve developed. Get on a plane and come check it out if you think we are bullshitting.

  63. +3 votes + -
    Cincinnatus_C Said:

    I just moved from Chicago to NYC and would like to say that this guy, Chicago Rules, has no clue. Rush Street sux?half of those places he listed are jokes..and plus he?s not into jewish girls??? Don?t get me wrong..Chicago?s great in the summer and there is a good nightlife..it?s just not where Chicago Rules says it is. And NY is def. better and has way more talent. end of story.

  64. +6 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    i heard there will be a Nikki Beach opening up in Pittsburgh? On the river, by PNC Park

  65. -3 votes + -
    Chicago rules Said:

    Cincinnatus_C, Of course Rush Street is not for poor losers like yourself. Walk around Rush Street on a saturday afternoon during summer, and you?ll see big ballers in their ferraris and bentleys, with some of the hottest girls you?ll see in the country. But you would obviously know nothing about that since you were too busy hanging out at a dive bar in wicker park with other people of your socioeconomic status. The clubs and lounges I mentioned are some of the best in the country, attracting insanely hot chicks, the type you fantasize about. In any case, I wish you the best of luck in NYC. Maybe you and straight talker can meet up at Marquee and give each other hand jobs.

  66. +8 votes + -
    Schwarzman Said:

    All this East vs West aint good for nothin?. You saw what happened to Pac and BIG. Yall niggaz chill. Peace.

  67. -6 votes + -
    the pipe man Said:

    Oh you sad sad yanks. Being English – and hailing from the financial capital of the world, London – I find NYC to be a charmingly provincial, an imperial outpost. I do however love this city. Why? Becuase I get to insert my enormous fleshpipe into young willing female US interns. ”Oh nooooooooooooooooooo, you brits are huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge”

  68. +1 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    Chicago rules is seriously trying to tout Rush Street as a happenin?, hip place? Ha ha ha ha, LOL, ha ha ha. I think most people reading this blog have been to Chicago and realize what you?re talking about now. Mid-life crisis dudes w/ their convertible Corvettes, gold chains, pinky rings, dumb, Wisconsin, former stripper girlfriends, and eating dinner at Gibson?s or Hugo?s Frog Bar. Dude, you are a joke.

  69. -1 votes + -
    Chicago rules Said:

    Straight Talker, Corvette? Wisconsin stripper girlfriends? LOL! I think you?re talking about Alabama, not Chicago. Just to remind you, these ballers on Rush Street drive Benz S class, Bentley, Ferrari, etc., and a lot of the girls are models, you ignorant faggot. If you don?t think Gibson?s, Le Colonial, Carmine?s, etc., are good restaurants, then you obviously have poor tastes. I challenge you to list places in NYC that have a better vibe during summer than Rush Street.

  70. 0 votes + -
    Anon Said:

    Chicago Rules I don?t know where you spend your time for your leisure but I?m sure that Chicago is the perfect place for spare his time .

  71. +12 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    Pipeboy, I?m sorry that you were cursed with being English, that?s a shite state of affairs for you. Put your little uncircumcised tapeworm back in its sheath, and be careful not to get it confused w/ the little pubes around it, they?re hardly indistinguishable. You are a minnow, not a man. New York puts London to shame in every category that there is, with the exception of number of years in existence, and if we go back to the days before New York existed, London was a disease-infested city, and the U.K. was not a big player in the world?s events. Ass kicked around by the Spanish, Dutch, Portuguese, and French during the pre-1500 days, it?s no wonder that when you finally emerged, you were so quick to declare your superiority to the rest of the world. Meanwhile, a short couple of hundred years later and some little, uneducated ”Yanks” kicked the fucking shit out of you and sent you back w/ your balls stuffed in your ass, while the ones who remained got either impregnated by good old fashioned, hard working American boys, or succumbed to our way of life, and gave up those limey accents. You pillow-biting bitch. But I do love the English. Now go back under the rock from which you emerged 2 hours ago and stay there. Chicago Rules – shut up stupid, you just showed your cards w/ what you think a good restaurant is. Ever heard of the fool in the market concept?

  72. +1 votes + -
    Models and Bottles Said:

    They have ferrari?s and bentley?s in Chicago? I thought saturn?s and hyundai?s were the ”it” cars for those fat sweaty pork-grind eating miserable midwestern losers.

  73. +3 votes + -
    NYC Said:

    I don?t even know why you people are acknowledging these ridiculous Chicago/London/LA/Paris vs me dicussion. Trust me from experience, when you?re on top, people want to hate. So I?ll take all these challenges as compliments, but let?s not really take these jokers seriously by offering up an actual response. Ok?

  74. +3 votes + -
    The Chi & NY - Synergies Said:

    I live in the Chi but will readily admit there is something special about New York. That?s why I live here but go to New York to party one or two weekends a month (I more than pay for my flights in what I?m saving in rent). Even though the clubs in NY probably aren?t as ”nice” as the ones in Chicago (they are usually smaller and not maintained as well) the crowd in NY is totally different. I?d never trade in my blonde Big-10 grads, but I do have a special place in my heart for Manhattan girls.

  75. +8 votes + -
    hugh jorgen Said:

    great post – I read it with a tear in my eye?let?s all hear it for Seattle – it?s the new beige, hell yeah, can I get a whoo-hoo??? Anyone? Seattle rocks (maybe even more than Pittsburgh), it?s cold & rains all the time, the traffic sucks, the woman are hairy and chubby and have a scorching case of passive aggressive behavior coupled with a pathetic aura of preponderance – you wouldn?t want to close them with a HEPA mask and a catcher?s mitt?. and the ”nightlife” is contained to a 6 block strip of 1st Avenue filled with pseudo-lounges and wanna-be bars. I don?t think anyone here has ever heard of bottle service and models are people we think may exist in other cities. God help me.

  76. 0 votes + -
    Chicago rules Said:

    The Chi & NY-Synergies, It?s great to see a fellow Chicagoan on this board. I?m surprised you go to NYC so often. What?s so different about the NYC crowd at clubs as compared to Chicago people? Have you been to Underground or Manor yet? They?re the hottest clubs in Chicago right now. I went last weekend and had a blast.

  77. -5 votes + -
    Seek The Truth Said:

    50 Cent is behind 9/11. Spread the truth, expose the lie.

  78. -2 votes + -
    Pwnsive Said:

    I must agree with the Budapest booster (only one?): it?s a beautiful city, awesome energy, and amazing women. This stands even if one of the most well-known recent books set there has another city as its name. Eastern European women have (in addition to being beautiful and smart, which certainly isn?t unique to them) an incredible endowment of refinement and culture, which is what makes them so interesting and attractive. They impress upon you that, if you are lucky enough to be chosen by them, you will have an amazing life? rather than just a night and a story. After having spent some time overseas, it became difficult to date mainstream American women? they are going or have been through college, and most people end up doing things, once there, that are a slap in the face against the cultural gifts that college was meant to transmit. Culture isn?t extinct, but it is rare (1%? 2%?) and has pretty much vanished in the set of people who were once most prominently expected to have it. You?re much more likely to find culture in (for example) Minneapolis-St. Paul old money and Pacific Northwest nouveau riche than among degenerate final/eating club brats and annoying ironic/”hip” people. New York definitely has cultured people, in the sense that it has everything, but they?re rarer than one might hope. Certainly it does not bode well for a city that $1000 handbags actually exist and are not just internet flame (as I thought they were, before coming here). If you can live anywhere, go to Eastern Europe? except in the winter, when it really sucks.

  79. +7 votes + -
    unimpressed female Said:

    as a person who once lived in chicago for a good number of years and still visits frequently, is this chicago rules guy being serious? i mean, he really can?t be. the viagra triangle (rush st. area) is for disgusting overweight bachelorette party-wagons and the balding conventioneers who love them. while i give that chicago has good food (alinea, moto, mirai), neither gibsons, carmines, and certainly not le colonial offer any. underground and manor are just passable wannabes of the new york and LA scenes with the exception that the women in chicago sport muffin tops and the men are still in stripe-shirts-untucked-with-jeans. pathetic. unlike mr. chicago rules seems to believe, the only real thing chicago has going for it is that it?s laid back, close to the water, and cheap. frankly, the dive bars in wicker park and a few of the chi-chi places in the west loop are the only places worth going to. at the very least, hipsters are a little more interesting to look at than overgrown frat boys.

  80. 0 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    what the fuck is a pork-grind?

  81. +3 votes + -
    pe god Said:

    C-Town is where its at?.corn-fed blond midwestern hoes a plenty! Ivan Kane is opening a 4 0 deuce outpost here soon!

  82. -3 votes + -
    Chicago rules Said:

    unimpressed female, Thanks for sharing your ”insights” on Chicago. You?re obviously an unattractive woman way past her physical prime. I guess seeing all those rich ballers date hot twentysomething models really made you bitter at this city. As for underground and manor, don?t sweat it. You won?t be able to get in anyways.

  83. +2 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    I say we all pitch in and buy hugh jorgen a week in NYC, he is a straight shooter, calls it like he sees it, and his candor is refreshing. Plus I have a feeling he could use a night out carousing w/ some hair-less hotties. On the question about what?s so different about the Chi and NY crowds, it?s more that there aren?t a lot of similarities. The Chicago crowd is a lot more provincial, midwestern, conservative in their mindset. The NY crowd is anything but. Cosmopolitan is an understatement with respect to the NYC crowd. There are so many other things, but most if it is an intangible, you need to be there to see it, kind of a thing. There is a sort of common level of wit among most Manhattan residents that you don?t find anywhere else, particularly in the middle of the country, unfortunately. It?s as if all of us here have read the same rules book of decorum and therefore all sort of look at some basic things in a similar way. It?s also the same reason why we drive up prices of lots of things, or all know exactly which spot in a subway station to stand in order to ensure we get on the next train, know to get to a new movie at least 50 minutes before it starts, the list goes on. Chicago, although it is a big city, is much more of a mosaic of a bunch of normal, suburban types, who just happen to live in a city. Not everybody, the Wicker Park crowd isn?t like that, for example, but it holds for most of the rest. One of the most disappointing things about Chicago is that women over 26 or 27, w/ decent jobs and education, don?t even tend to go out to lounges or clubs, especially in the winter, and so the rest of us are forced to jump all over the 22-25 year old crowd?..which isn?t all bad actually.

  84. +7 votes + -
    The Chi & NY - Synergies Said:

    Chicago rules: Yeah, had a good time at Underground a couple weeks ago. Haven?t checked out Manor yet. Kept it real at Boutique this weekend. Very, very real. If you?ve been there, you know what I mean. Also, most of my best buds from college are in NYC, and I just sort of got used to going there. I honestly don?t think there is a huge difference. In NY they have B&T, in Chicago we have Schaumburg. Both have great spots, both have dives. The top tier in both cities is ridiculous. I generally think the second tier places in Chicago are nicer than those in NY though. It is like rental buildings in New York – they will get people even if they aren?t that nice and even if their prices are too high. That said, there is a certain edginess or attitude about NY women that I love, that you get sometimes here in Chicago, but not as often as in New York. It is a turn off for most people, actually, but I kind of dig it. Net/net I?m still more pro-Chicago though, don?t get me wrong.

  85. 0 votes + -
    Second City Said:

    Straight Talker, I live in Chicago and agree with everything you said so far. Aside from being cheaper and cleaner, Chicago is not on the same level as NYC. Part of it is that Chicago is a big midwestern city, filled with kids from places like Indiana, Iowa, and Wisconsin, who think they?ve now made it because they?re in Chicago. As a result there is a very bland fratty social scene here, which is fine if you?re 21 but for the bit older people like myself, it doesn?t do it. Some of the clubs and lounges are okay, and you can see pretty hot girls there, but it?s just not up to NYC?s caliber. People here don?t dress as well, and there is not as much variety. In my visits to NYC, I have been dumbfounded by the quality of women, and what?s interesting is that you don?t have to go to a club to see them. Whole foods, central park, weekday lunch spots in midtown, etc., are all swarming with attractive women. As straight talker said, in Chicago, the decent girls over the age of 25 don?t even go to clubs and lounges that much, so you?re left with young girls who dress slutty. Of course, there?s nothing wrong with that, but the scene in NYC is far different and better. I can go on forever about this, but it?s hard to know the differences unless you?ve been to both cities.

  86. +1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Chicago ?.no comments !

  87. +2 votes + -
    WhoFlungPoo Said:

    unimpressed female, what, in your opinion, is the way guys should dress in clubs, w/ old-looking t-shirts that were bought at Old Navy and a pair of jeans? Just curious what girls think cool guys at clubs should be wearing.

  88. +7 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    whoflungpoo, of course the latest NY Yankees Fitted Cap, on the side so the Brim points straight at the sky? Ice Cream Jeans and Bapesta Kicks with Louis Vuitton patches? BBC T-shirt, Bape varsity jacket? come on son!

  89. -3 votes + -
    Kefka Said:

    Holy shit. I never noticed this before, but Bjork is an esper. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqB5m_XHyQQ&mode=related&search= I?m not shitting you, dudes.

  90. +3 votes + -
    Pat Said:

    Hey, let?s cool it with the anti-semitic remarks.

  91. -2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    NYU -> Alan Greenspan. Enough said.

  92. +4 votes + -
    unimpressed female Said:

    Oh chicago rules?if you are actually being serious in your laudatory remarks of the viagra triangle, then it must be so that you are in fact one of the balding conventioneers of which I spoke. There is nothing further to say. WhoFlungPoo: This is So. Not. Hot: http://img14.imgspot.com/u/07/177/12/nothot.jpg And regrettably, that is pretty much ubiquitous (with or without the Gotti hair) in the fair second city. If you need dress tips, well, everyone loves thesartorialist.blogspot.com.

  93. -1 votes + -
    dork Said:

    yeah, stop the anti-semitic remarks because Pat the pussy is offended. quit your bitching – every ethnicity is attacked on this site. why are you only annoyed at the jewish comments?

  94. +3 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    whoflungpoo? cop this look and you will have all da 19 to 21 year old intern honeys? http://www.bbcicecream.com/lookbook/ unimpressed, take some stylin tips as well shorty?

  95. -1 votes + -
    the pipe man Said:

    ‘Straight” (ahem) talker, How amusing, quite advanced for a yank. Did you get a brit to help with your post? I would have taken offense at your post, had I not been otherwise engaged in a little game. Said game, hugely entertianing, entailed a little ”hide the monster-cock” with yo sister/mama (same person, natch). Her closing line, ”save the money shot for my little boy”.

  96. -3 votes + -
    Frank Said:

    We need a big market crash so that these investment bankers can lose their jobs and move in with mom and dad.

  97. +2 votes + -
    gogg pound gangsta Said:

    gyea!!

  98. +4 votes + -
    NYC Said:

    nothing annoys me more than hipster clothing, it?s like do I wanna go prep, or maybe thug, or maybe emo?I don?t know, I can?t decide. Make up your f-ing mind. 10 years from now, when you look at that $350 Bape hoody you have with rainbow unicorns all over it, you will wonder wtf you were thinking back then, just like how people looked back on the 80s and wondered how spandex and leg warmers were ever popular.

  99. +6 votes + -
    William St. George Said:

    ‘Ass kicked around by the Spanish, Dutch, Portuguese, and French during the pre-1500 days, its no wonder that when you finally emerged, you were so quick to declare your superiority to the rest of the world.” Funny, I didn?t realize investment bankers were secretly European History scholars after work. Native American tribes also owned the Hamptons in the 15th century, but who?s counting? By this inane logic, the Chinese would have us all bested given that China was the most advanced civilization in the world in the 11th century AD. ”yeah, stop the anti-semitic remarks because Pat the pussy is offended.” Dork, you might do us all a favor and refrain from posting until you watch American Psycho. After all, you forgot that ”Bateman?s dating someone from the ACLU.”

  100. +3 votes + -
    Kefka Said:

    I can?t believe the completely worthless FF6 non sequitir about Bjork passed moderation. This board is blowing up like the carry trade.

  101. -8 votes + -
    pe baller Said:

    this thread has been a mockery. anyone not in pe in new york is a joke. open and shut.

  102. +8 votes + -
    Chitown Baby Said:

    Dear PE Baller 1. See BX stock performance over past 4 days 2. See credit market shun new deals 3. Enjoy working in PE for the next few months because you?ll be looking for a new job soon. That boom is over

  103. +12 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    thursday? 1 hour till lunch?till i stroll down SOHO for eye candy and m&e interns?little lindsey from omaha called and wants to introduce me to some game called ”cornhole”?thank goodness the NYU dorms have tight security at the lobby and fortunate for me little lindsey is shacked up with 4 roomies to a 1 bedroom apt. in the Lower Eastside? 11 hours till the weekly pre-party at the dorms begin? i?m not sure what i?m feeling tonight? the inspiration will have to hit me when I hit up SOHO lata? maybe a british intern so I can introduce her to da american thug life? gyea!

  104. -4 votes + -
    gogg pound gangsta Said:

    leave some phillies for me, son?gyea!

  105. -3 votes + -
    the pipe man Said:

    Quiz time, fuckers. Would ya rather be: a) Hispter dude b) Wet-back c) Trailor trash d) ”straight talker” A, B, C over D every fucking day of the week. straight talker – you?re a grade A CUNT. Even yo mama agrees. A irony-free, chino wearing, felching, but-plug. What?s your SAT score? ”CUNT” OK, what?s your GMAT score? ”CUNT” Hmm, mkay, credit rating? ”CUNT CUNT CUNT” I sense a theme here. CUNT

  106. +1 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    seriously, if the credit markets blow up, there?ll be some tears from the crowd, Maserati orders cancelled, and winter will be spent w/ the in-laws in Boca, instead of Biarritz and Vail. That?d be some funny shit.

  107. 0 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Chicago rules has to be joking, right? Dude, why are you so interested by the cars these ballers drive up in? You should be busy scoping out the girls, or maybe you do swing the other way. Any given day, NYC, LA, Palo Alto (so many hot gold-diggin hoes), amongst a long list of other cities will beat the living shit out of Chicago (don?t get me wrong?I do like Chicago) in categories of hot girls, or cars (Try finding a Bugatti Veyron, or cars in its class in Chicago. S-Class is for middle aged viagra using fatties like yourself). Dude, get out of Chiccago, and see the world; and if not the world, at least some cities in your own damn country – it will change your thinking.

  108. +2 votes + -
    Ward Said:

    Chitown Baby, You think PE baller actually works in PE? Yea right. 190 of the 195 comments here are made by people who are full of it and cannot comprehend the satirical nature of this entire website if it smacked them upside the head. I doubt that PE baller even knows why BX even went public.

  109. +1 votes + -
    Now in Houston Said:

    PE?.being a former GS employee myself and now seeking greener pastures working in oil industry, i can tell you one thing: Hank Paulson is going to cut SOX?s balls off ina year or so and less companies will be interested going private?im sure there will be a boom in PE activity?in Bangalore, India

  110. +1 votes + -
    The Chi & NY - Synergies Said:

    Haven?t seen a Veryon here yet. Saw Dean Buntrock in one of his Enzos last weekend, though. I thought Veryon?s only lived in CT??

  111. -2 votes + -
    Pat Said:

    I agree with William St. George?s assessment.

  112. -1 votes + -
    Still in New York Said:

    Now in Houston: FEWER companies will be interested, not less. Attention to detail and correct grammar, please. Also, kudos for drawing immediately attention to your GS background in typical GS fashion. Being a former MS employee, I would never do that.

  113. -1 votes + -
    Now in Houston Said:

    you must pardon me for my first language was not English, it was Russian. but i digress?this still stands true that FEWER companies will be inclined to go private. agreed?

  114. +5 votes + -
    Fund of Funds Said:

    Sorry, this post is not in a string with all the other posts about who?s city is better. I couldn?t read anymore of that stuff. It is true that some cities have more amenities than others, but anybody who thinks that he or she is better because he or she lives in a certain city has nothing going for him or herself. It doesn?t matter if you are in Tulsa Oklahoma; if you can get girls and entertain and be entertained by those around you, it doesn?t matter where you are. On a different subject, I would like to see a posting on Cap Intro girls. Nowhere in finance does there exist such a bunch of enthusiastic, gorgeous young women. Anybody who has ever worked at a fund of funds knows what I am talking about.

  115. -1 votes + -
    Fund of Funds Said:

    How many of you who are claiming a particular city are actually from there? I love the people that claim to be from New York after moving two weeks ago, and will argue to the death about how it is the great city in the world. Obviously the upbringing in Alexandria / Charlotte / Short Hills / wherever else is quickly forgotten. Ask any of these people where they are from, and they will proudly respond ”New York!” Douschebag. Be proud of where you are from.

  116. +6 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    i actually operate a hot dog stand in Shanghai? but, since it?s essentially the Manhattan of Asia, it gives me the right to claim that I live in NYC?gyea!

  117. +11 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    First of all, why are most bankers so fucking ugly and geeky? I mean I?m on my way into the office this a.m., and I see a nice amount of little hotties barely wearing anything, walking around the streets of Gotham, and then as soon as I enter the lobby and into the elevator, BAM! Geeked out guys w/ bad haircuts talking about going to Stampede next week and how cool it is. Fucking social losers. Oh well, at least they have their $25,000 watches, hopefully the watch gives a mean bj. Secondly, why are there so many fucking limey Brits, dirty Russians, and Frogs on this website? PipeBoy, you are an Essex boy, I can tell, and you live for turning tricks on the weekends when nobody from work is around. Pasty white, inbred Brits, what a joke. At least they follow our foreign policy and do whatever we tell them to. Gordon Brown is about to get a lapdance from Condoleeza in the next couple of weeks in order to send more troops to our next theater of war. Thanks Mates, keep up the good work. Trick bitches.

  118. -2 votes + -
    Now in Houston Said:

    i never had complains about my personal hygiene?and the fact that i speak 4 languages could only make me more marketable. while the closest you will ever get to international experience is some asian taint being rubbed up against you at Score?s

  119. +4 votes + -
    Lil Said:

    boy oh boy. this douche is right on the money. AND he writes well. ?. lets hope he?s as good in bed as he is on paper. otherwise, there?s nothing to speak of other than shoes and interns? or, was it interns and shoes?

  120. +14 votes + -
    Young banker guy Said:

    I am a young Banker guy I work in a nice office. I live for happy hours. I work long hours and get paid. I am the young tiger in the office. I am the reason my company is getting really big. My company is hotter than yours. I am the reason ”Boiler Room” was written and I can quote more of ”Wall Street” than you. I know that guy. I could nail your receptionist. I can make her laugh when I walk in. I can get her number. I don?t have your card. I?m going to New York next week. I?m good on the phone. I act like I?ve never paid my dues as a copiertech. I have a nicer tie on than you. I have bigger deals than you. I?m always downtown. I have a new phone. I know that place. I live in a suit. I can quote ”Office Space”. My taxes are complicated. I?ve always been to that restaurant before. I?m getting my MBA because I want more. I read something about that. I can put you on hold when you call. I can accidentally hang up. I have big money on the other line. My 401(k) is getting big. I complain about taxes. I already have almost five grand in equity in the place I?m living. I?m out late every weekend. I love my alma mater. You see what university I went to when you walk in my office. The old guys in the office like me because I?m ?young and aggressive? and like to tell me stories. I practice my swing. I spend a lot of money. My fraternity was better than yours. I?m busy this weekend. I know which cigars are good. I might have to go into the office this weekend. I claim I can go out and run a marathon. I know a lot about IRAs. I have my real estate license too. I haven?t told you exactly what I do. I?ll ask if you saw that big play in that game. I ask if you listen to Stern. I played that course last weekend. I know my football team?s record last season. I?ll put these drinks on my expense report. It was never as good as when I was there. I shouldn?t have a car this nice. I?m looking at buying a condo. I wasn?t listening. I talk a lot. I know all the dirty jokes. I?m a darling to the ladies in the office. The other guys are tools. I?ve got a big future. I got invited to that wedding. All the guys I meet are idiots. I need to move companies because this one just can?t pay me right. I can tell you about how that nice restaurant really isn?t that great. I?ve never heard of your company. I already went to the gym. I can put them away and then get my car out of valet. I talk about stocks. I wear my suit to every happy hour. I know the big man. I know those guys, too. I wear a nice watch. Your girlfriend likes nice watches. I?m in the valet line waiting on my car. I pick up my cell phone when you?re talking to me. I check my messages when you?re trying to talk to me. I was just there. I know the cool bars. I just got these sunglasses but I really want the ferarri but settle with the beamer. I never sent a gift. I?ll be at homecoming over by the stadium. I have season tickets. I saw that hot girl on the elevator. I?m looking at a big bonus. You will get my card. I am everything that?s wrong in America. I am everything you wish you could be. I?m a young banker guy. What did you think of that?

  121. -8 votes + -
    Fashionable Intern Said:

    PE Stud, If are speaking of spelling, first learn how to spell ”fashionable”. And if you think that I?m a poser, you should know that my D&G pants are well worth more than your life. Un bacio.

  122. +2 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    GYEA? let?s make it rain on these suckas? 4th of July?Red, White, and Bang, bang, bang? there will be lots of banging tonight?this time the venue shifts from da NYU dorms to my rooftop deck and then my loft?here?s da hustle and flow: 1) round up all da phillies from the NYU dorms. it?s been a month into the ”internship” and the stable is big enough to hold an entire day of races at da derby? 2) throw a floor party at da dorms? tell their friends to get with my friends so we could be friends? 3) half way into da partay, invite da finest honeys and tell them that your boss is going to the Hamptons for the weekend and taht he gave you access to his crib for the 4th? coincidentally, there is a roofdeck with a great view of da fireworks? 4) leave da dorms and head to your actual spot?bring the phillies to the roofdeck, sip some cocktails, and wait for the magic of the fireworks to sink in? no need to elaborate beyond this point? true playas know where to take it from here? gyea!

  123. -6 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    Dogg Pound Gangsta, I?d like to come along for this event, woul? that be aight w/ you?

  124. -6 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    Fashionable philly are your pants worth more or is it worth more to get in your pants?

  125. -7 votes + -
    TOD'S WHAT A JOKE Said:

    Evidenced by the fact that you pions need to prey on the most vulnerable women, you likely aren?t as well heeled(especially in Tod?s) as you?d like to think. If you pleebs can mosey your way out of the MEAT for a night maybe ill see you at Rose Bar?Among the true elite.

  126. -2 votes + -
    meandjoemoomoo Said:

    you?re schtick isn?t funny or even entertaining anymore, asspound.

  127. -1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    y?all aint got shit on Hong Kong. KONG BABY, KONG.

  128. -1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    finally sobered up from the meth at the bathhouses mooo mooo? thought you were leaving the forums for good?

  129. -7 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    fuck moomoo, what a pussy, the guy runs away after he got beat up on in this forum and now he comes cowering back to eek out a little response. Pillow-biting f*ck-nutt.

  130. +3 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    mooo mooo, i pimp slapped you on the other forum? you ready for a pistol whipping this time?

  131. +3 votes + -
    assama Said:

    Oh my, oh my. This site notionally represents the ”elite” of the self-appointed financial capital of the world (yawn??) And yet, this site is frequented by trash talking, bored white kids pretending there in the ”hood”.. ”dogg pound gangsta”?yeah, sure. I bet you?re a preppy floppy dicked cunt from iowa. GYEA. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck off.

  132. +1 votes + -
    meandjoemoomoo Said:

    i?ve just come to put a little paint where it ain?t. you motherfuckers are boring. i?ve been mia as i have a real job which seems to be a different case than you guys. where do you find the time to post continuously? to the geek chicago guy, keep jerking off to gay porn bc that?s the closest to lovin? you?re going to get and you really should just remove the ”straight” part of your moniker as it is just preposterous at this point. to asspound, keep taking your turn in the barrel bc that?s the closest to sex you?re going to get. i look forward to your weak ass retorts, responses and the like, joe moo moo

  133. -1 votes + -
    Vinny2Fingers Said:

    I didn?t know people are getting pimp slapped and beat up on a message board now?.dumb ass summer interns, stop posting, it?s time for your daily starbucks run

  134. -12 votes + -
    Sophie Said:

    *rolls eyes* Are you totally shameless and pathetic? You are the worst attempt at a ”man” let alone ”human being” I?ve seen for a while. Just because you have survived in IB and are a banking animal, doesn?t give you the right to prey on young, easily-influenced women. Quite frankly that is just sad if you enjoy pulling women in such a manner. As for the intern?If she falls for those manipulative games, she shouldn?t be in IB anyways.

  135. +3 votes + -
    meandjoemoomoo Said:

    sophie, you are a reactionary retard with no sense of humor. do you think these things are meant to be anything other than satire? if you don?t get that, you ”shouldn?t be in IB anyways”. sounds like you are bitter from being turned out by a more senior retard when you were just realizing that you?d have to suck and fuck your way to the middle tier. seperately, being in IB is pretty much the bottom of the high finance world. why do you think everyone who is worth two shits leaves?

  136. 0 votes + -
    testes testes 123 Said:

    you are all huge losers and are worthy of a cleveland steamer. if you are all bankers or some other derivative loser, none of you recognizes the massively pathetic tone of the posts here? real bankers or whatever are getting it done while you jackoffs are posting dimwitted comebacks and dimwitted insults. homophobic, bigoted, small minded, limp dicked losers.

  137. -1 votes + -
    stan Said:

    where is the love of mumbai? come on, you desi bastard. Represent yo peeps. P.S. Princeton sucks. wharTON rules.

  138. -2 votes + -
    Marshall Said:

    You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling, to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some. And what?s this shit about us meant to be together? That type of shit?ll make me not want us to meet each other.

  139. +5 votes + -
    For dogg pound gangsta Said:

    You are the greatest. I want be you or maybe even in you . Maybe we could meet up some time. PS How do you say gyea phoney-et-i-cali

  140. +3 votes + -
    For dogg pound gangsta Said:

    Hustle and flow thats how it goes??priceless you are just a treasure.

  141. +1 votes + -
    stan Said:

    don?t be quoting eminem up in here. You?re prolly a boarding school kid up from Conn, ”born-banker” shit. You can?t relate to me. Never Ever. wharTON.

  142. +7 votes + -
    dogg pound gansta Said:

    what a brilliant time it is in China? so many beautiful ladies? wo ai shanghai mei mei?yes for da losers? that?s da slang for Chinese Shorties? to all da recent imitators? thanks for da love? i?d like to imitate you as well, but why? you have absolutely no relevance or even a speck of originality? hustle and flo.. gyea dats fo sho? i?m out da do? not a second mo? wit a shanghai ho?need i say mo? in less than a week here, i?ve met so many women who would put midwest, NYC, miami, LA, or whateva your sense of American pedestal of hotness to shame? and to think? all dat time i spent learnin Mandadarin as a hobby from perfectin ghetto slang would pay off so much? to For dogg and moo moo? daddy?s comin home soon? it?s time for bastards like you to hit da orphanage? yeah, i banged your mommies? but, i don?t love them hoes? so you gots to go!? how go I spell it G_ _ A????? G _ _ A? spell it right drones?

  143. +4 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    You know what?s funny about bankers? It?s never their money and for the immense majority, it never will be. Enjoy mediocrity, and keep punching numbers for us wealthy folk.

  144. -2 votes + -
    For dogg pound gangsta Said:

    Dogg pound you really are the greatest. Theres only one dpg, theres only one dpg ? come on sing it with me.

  145. +2 votes + -
    dork Said:

    if china has a ton of beautiful ladies, it?s only because the country has a ton of ladies in general. I?ve been to China many times – trust me when I say it is NOT a hotbed of beauty by ANY possible metric.

  146. -2 votes + -
    Back Office Said:

    With the notable exception of B.I.G. in ”Dead Wrong”, I don?t recall, especially on this board, anyone stating that money is funny in any way, shape or form. I do however recall that a multitude of people have pointed out that this entire site is dedicated to satire. I also recall that throughout all of my years of what anonymous at 12:36 AM might call, ”book learnin?”, I was never advised that the word ”folks” was appropriate in any context, ever.

  147. 0 votes + -
    stan Said:

    Mumbai?s got hot chicks?and they love the foreigners.

  148. +4 votes + -
    dogg pound gansta Said:

    for dogg? i?m landing in NYC on saturday?. i want you to pick me up? make sure you have at least 2 bottles of 40s in da back? i want you to wear the usual chauffeur hat, tilted to da side, gansta style? make sure you don?t the webster street cum stains on your lips?and bring some Charmins? i hate using da toilet on long flights? i need you to wipe my ass after i shit in your mouth? you?re almost in my entourage? test # 2? spell it right and you?re almost there? G _ _ _ ? don?t let me down? i might let you suck unimpressed female?s toes?

  149. +1 votes + -
    Intern UK Said:

    Word. I am finding a similar phenomenon in London. I do believe the French, Spanish and English accents likly put the UK over the top. Different strokes for different folks.

  150. +18 votes + -
    Entrepreneur Said:

    I think all of these ”baller” i-bankers posting comments on this site are hilarious. If you live in New York City, you know that i-bankers are basically a bunch of trained chimpanzees and, even lower, former ivy league frat boys who actually think they possess some intellect when the only real skills they can claim are a dog-like ability to take orders from people and the ability to look at spreadsheets for hours on end. These guys work at boring places for 18 hours a day with bosses that nail them in the ass over their desks using tabasco as lube every half hour, all in the name of an income that, for most, doesn?t even come close to making them above upper-middle class in Manhattan. The summer interns and NYU girls use these guys to get free drinks, and then ditch them at the end of the night for much more fun, better looking guys who are still in college and don?t weigh 300 pounds or make lame-ass Wall Street references that no one else finds funny or cool in any way. Eventually these people have to settle for mid to late 20?s ”trophy” wives who will force them to live above their means in an uncomfortable cycle of Park Ave. pissing contests until the bankers inevitably blow up and lose it all, leaving their park avenue ”friends” (entrepreneurs) to continue making money and making i-bankers feel inadequate. Have fun being alone and working at a BMW dealership in central Jersey, losers.

  151. -2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    You are a fag.

  152. +4 votes + -
    nad Said:

    this is hilarious and so, SO true. i was a junior year intern (im a girl) at a bank last year and lived in one of the 14th street nyu dorms. but since i went to nyu during the school year, i had better places to go out to than the easily-impressionable kids who were in the city their first time. you should?ve seen the girls all dressed up at 10pm in the lobby of the dorms. hilarious.

  153. -3 votes + -
    bustinyourface Said:

    entrepreneur? bust in yo fayaaace. stop hat?in on the biatches. just do yo thang and stop giving real entrepreneups a bad image.

  154. +1 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    Entrepreneur has a beer belly that would have made Chris Farley embarassed. Dogg Pound Gangsta is one funny mu?fucka, and I love it how some have a problem w/ him?except for unimpressed female who is all up in his shit.

  155. +1 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    nad? tru nuff? the 10pm line up at da dorms is like a casting call in La la land for a rap video? lil hotties dressed up in their cute h&m outfits and knock-off LV bags from Chinatown? come 3am the party goes from the hotel lobby up to da dorm rooms? gyea! i think i doubleld up with you and another lil mami from da midwest

  156. +7 votes + -
    oops! Said:

    ‘have at least 2 bottles of 40s in da back ” You don?t refer to 40s as bottles of 40s. The term 40, refers to the bottle (not the drink) I think someone is under 21! And lives at home with his mommy!!

  157. +4 votes + -
    hedge fund guy Said:

    ah, overly cocky idiot I-banking wanna-be Patrick batemans, how you make me laugh. As much as i love how satirical this blog is, there really are idiots out there with the same delusions of grandeur, pedigree, and trashiness.

  158. 0 votes + -
    pton fratter Said:

    hey entrepreneur: where did you go to school?

  159. 0 votes + -
    Entrepreneur Said:

    Hahahaha Princeton frat boys, the lamest of them all. The undisputed third wheel of the so-called ”big 3,” I don?t care what U.S. News says. I bet you have a lot of pictures of yourself wearing two polo shirts at once with both collars popped and some really idiotic looking seersucker pants on in various homoerotic poses with your Cap and Gown buddies, yes? Princeton has to be the least intellectually charged, most self-congratulatory student body on the face of the planet. I actually have a rule that I refuse to interview Princeton grads. Stanford.

  160. 0 votes + -
    Chicago rules Said:

    Entrepreneur, Princeton is easily the best undergrad school, along with Harvard. It kicks Yale and Stanford?s ass. The WASP elite sends their kids to Princeton, not Stanford. Get a clue, you idiot. Stanford is a freaking joke.

  161. -1 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    Entrepreneur sounds like it might be a psuedonym for that pillow-biter meandjoemoomoo who hasn?t been around for a bit. That or Hedgie, another homo-tool.

  162. -7 votes + -
    Chitown Baby Said:

    Lets face it, the East Coast sucks, period. New York is a cesspool and all the Ivy League pricks can go fck themselves. Id rather chill in the best city in the world, Chicago. Shoutout to my boy Dogg Pound! Gyea!

  163. +3 votes + -
    pe god Said:

    Entrepreneur, why are you tryin to start this east coast v. west coast beef? can?t we all just get along?

  164. +1 votes + -
    Back Office Said:

    The bi-coastal beef is tired. I am tired too?from d-styling Entrepreneurs sister while he?s toiling away trying to get that great business off the ground. Listen, technology isn?t cyclical, selling pagers is getting you nowhere. The real money is in portable compact disc players.

  165. +4 votes + -
    Pton fratter Said:

    Entrepreneur: Your point is well-taken, to an extent. As a former economics major, I freely submit that the undergraduate program could be more rigorous. Your subsequent conclusion, however, leads me to question your very moniker: what legitimate entrepreneur would hire with systematic biases against a significant fraction of the elite college workforce? What you are proposing is akin to the Yankees refusing out of hand to sign Dominican players because they are relatively less-talented than their Puerto Rican and Cuban counterparts. The central axiom of entrepreneurship is the relentless pursuit of merit?not the knee jerk rejection of a one tenth of potential employees. I?d be surprised if you?ve been very successful with asinine decision rules such as that one, sir.

  166. -7 votes + -
    dazed Said:

    wtf !!!!

  167. +2 votes + -
    Pton fratter Said:

    I?ll politely spare you blame for the following, the subtlety of which you might have missed because you skipped an intro stat course for the pets.com stock certificate burning party at tressider: Princeton is 12% Greek. Your cherished recruiting method thus ignores 94 potentially qualified and non-douchey candidates for the sake of punishing those 6. Clever. It is also worth adding that not only is Cap and Gown one of the least frat-ridden bicker clubs, it is also overwhelmingly the most diverse club on the entire street.

  168. +7 votes + -
    Summer Intern Said:

    golden

  169. -6 votes + -
    Londoner Said:

    Based on all of your meaningless bickering about universities, I can see you all haven?t learned much during your time there. Once you graduate, you have an accredited college degree and you join a pool of hundreds of millions. Beyond that, you will rely on social skills and overall performance evaluation to advance. (i.e. I am 1 of 22 that won my current position out of a pool of 750 applicants. I went to a public university and received ?good? grades. There were a handful of applicants from all of the aforementioned schools) But thanks to people like you, people who know ?the game? can ride the wave on in. I look forward to your lackluster responses for vindication of your inability to operate in ?the real world?. It?s almost sad, really.

  170. +14 votes + -
    Owner of a Summer Intern Said:

    Perfect?especially the cheese about 2 Gold and 45 Wall?. Can you please follow-up with ”How to get an Intern Chick” similar to ”How to get a banker chick”?.although I?m sure the former will require about 1/3rd of the explanation.

  171. +8 votes + -
    gazed 'n' confused Said:

    Dogg Pound The only time you and ?lil pimp made it into the NYU dorm was to borrow a set of jumpleads for your lime green Lada, piece of cr%p broke down dragging your sorry asses back to Jersey City.

  172. -2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Wow, this one seems pretty kind to the subject of ridicule

  173. +3 votes + -
    stan Said:

    good god?what is it with you state school people? Why do you all have an inferiority complex? Just because a couple of us make fun of your schools or deride it, you?re supposed to take it in stride. The fact remains that the AVERAGE IQ at Ivy will be forever be far higher than the AVERAGE IQ at your state school. There are smart people everywhere, but on average, they congregate at the ivy?s. I?m happy for you that you ”made it.” But you don?t have to rub in the fact that you went to state school. wharTON

  174. -16 votes + -
    Baller Intern Said:

    Not all interns are simple, unpolished and naive. You were an intern once too.

  175. -6 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    fuck off, y?all

  176. -32 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    yes, i love da summers? pimpin out a stable of young phillies as we speak?perfect for deal flow and da cash flow?

  177. +2 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    i thought all the limey Brits had left this site to go home and suck each other off, no?

  178. +32 votes + -
    Boppy Said:

    I read this because Gawker picked it up. Shit, as a woman I hate to admit this, but bravo dude!

  179. +11 votes + -
    dogg pound gansta Said:

    gazed? thanks for da love? you know me dawg? yep, i?ve dragged my broke ass to hoboken a few times with some jersey shore girls? but, they were one of da best fucks eva? you should try it some time? you know those girls only give da jersey meatheads a ride? somehow lil oh doggy dawg pound got a ride?. go figure? being broke and po some times gives you street cred? fo dogg? where da fuck were you? i was at LaGuardia waitin for you to stroll up in da Maybach? you left my ass hangin and i was left with ridin home with some skanks from Scores who had a betta ride than 80% of da bankers out here? go figure? lil ol wannabe gangsta was able to get a ride from strippas who most of you bankers pay half your bonuses for, go back to their crib in da upper east side and gave them some pearl necklaces as well as knock off LV bags from China? i shouldn?t even be postin here? i?m not ivy league edumacated nor west coast silicone valley supportin school-cated? i just throw out the GYEA and some how i wind up with dime pieces who want to exchange their dimes for ten pennies a night? dats 1 penny on their face, 1 on their eye, 1 on their nipple, and one on da? oooooh i never took anatomy class so i betta get my ass on da leveraged Docta site and learn some shit before i post here? ?a! i can?t even spell it ?.

  180. -9 votes + -
    Chitown Baby Said:

    that bar in the middle of Union Square does suck and I dont even live in Manhattan

  181. -8 votes + -
    Londoner Said:

    Straight talker? that?s all you?ll ever be?a talker. Stan ? I would say the pendulum swings both ways. I have met so many finance people in the UK that are here for summer trainings from ny. Without stating my credentials, I am discredited for the fact that I didn?t go to a private school (i chose to pay less and got a better job). To the same degree, from my experience, most Ivy?s have come off as pretentious pricks. And I can attest that my friends that chose to go to Ivy?s and Cali privates became pricks? must be a 100 level course. Averages can be misleading (not sure if your a numbers guy). And where did the highest rank b-school lead you? Read the 3 books to interview at Goldman Sachs? Or were you a shoe-in?

  182. -30 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    ahh the sound of bedding a nice, young 22 year old intern gets me going and it?s only a fucking Monday. I just saw a couple of girls in the elevator that looked like exactly what he?s describing, it?s a good thing I hadn?t read this first or I may be in an HR meeting now instead of at the desk. I wouldn?t mind setting this week?s goal as getting a hat trick, and it might just have to start w/ tonight, given the 90 degree weather, when girls wear no bras and rarely wear panties. Anybody know any good spots on a Monday, this is usually my ”stay in” night. I will have to say that gay ”i love my loafer” shit is for homoerotic types like meandjoemoomoo and Hedgie. If you care that much about your shoes, I can guarantee you ain?t fuckin as good as you should be, and the girls know it.

  183. +5 votes + -
    man Said:

    Straight Talker is gay.

  184. -11 votes + -
    wtf? boppy? i hope my intern is not named boppy Said:

    Z

  185. -3 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    man, you said you wouldn?t tell anybody if I didn?t after you tossed my salad last night

  186. -22 votes + -
    dorothyp Said:

    really, I hope and pray this is a parody.

  187. +2 votes + -
    stan Said:

    Londoner?like you said pendulum swings both ways. I?ve met kids in NY from down South who throw around the ”N word” for AAs all the time. Biggest piece of shit. Guess what? They went to public school. And averages don?t lie. Smart kids do go to Ivy?s if they get in. Financial aid is outstanding. I?m a prime example. And even if it isn?t, you should still attend for the kickass alumni network, job ops, etc. As for your personal questions, my highest rank b-school landed me quite well when I graduated with a top BB. I wasn?t a shoe-in. If the state school kids had worked their ass of in high school, they wouldn?t have to put up with this shit.

  188. +19 votes + -
    CanadianFinance Said:

    It?s just so funny seeing the interns walking around thinking they?re hot shit b/c they?re working in a big city for a well-known firm, when they?re actually running around getting me coffee and doing all the crap work that no one else wants to do. ”Dude, I told you to make those photocopies double sided!”

  189. +7 votes + -
    dogg pound gansta Said:

    this is so embarassing? so like i?ve been trying to front like i am all gangster and such here for the past two months? and like i think i have it down pat? but, man, i just got a letter today from my ivy league school asking for a donation? gosh darn it! i?d like to support my school, but man oh man, if i do so, i would ruin all the street credibility i?ve built? what am i to do? straight talker do you have any advice for an honest guy trying to make it legitimate in this harsh world? gosh, i hope to be friends with everyone on this site? but, i think i?ve made a boo boo?every time i open my mouth, i mean to compliment and make friends? but, some how i end up being a big butt hole? fo dogg, hedgie, gazed n confused, let?s make amends and open some corks at marquee? we will try to talk to some good looking models and invite them for dimsum in chinatown on sunday? then, maybe put on our rollerblades and wow them in central park!? YEAH! is that a good plan? hit me back?!

  190. +19 votes + -
    law intern Said:

    So as a summer associate at a law firm, I can?t help but agree with your sad but true picture of our ”banking world” counterparts (we?ve established a relationship akin to the Sharks and the Jets). With one caveat- don?t rule out the brown and black ones? as a ”brownie” myself, I can tell you you?re ruling out a very easy contingent of ”ladies.” (Smart?) Black girls love nothing more in the summer then a fling with a hot dumb guy that can get them into clubs.

  191. -1 votes + -
    testes testes 123 Said:

    we all know you?re a honkey, dude.

  192. +2 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    dorothyp, this is not parody, each and every story is actually something that some of us have written in to LSO and they use our stories on this site. So, do you love working in finance? How is Prudential?s Oklahoma City branch, anyways, are they treating you well there?

  193. -8 votes + -
    buzz lightyear Said:

    i am hearing that ”Investment Professionals” (not Senior Investment Team members) at Lightyear Capital made $15-$17m last year, does that sound like crap or what? Anybody got any better insights into this?

  194. +22 votes + -
    guestofaguest Said:

    The only difficulty with bedding a summer intern though (if they live at the NYU dorms) is the whole ID policy at the security desks. Its worse than JFK! Normally this wouldn?t be too much of a problem, but stumbling and fumbling at 4 in the morning, it can be quite a challenge.

  195. -6 votes + -
    rainbow6vegas Said:

    dogg pound gansta, your sissy liberal arts ivy is no match for M.I.T.

  196. +16 votes + -
    areyoukidding Said:

    Bethpage Black? That?s a PUBLIC course. Wouldn?t a real banker be aspiring for Shinecock, National, or Maidstone?

  197. +4 votes + -
    ilovelac Said:

    Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Everything is great, my only complaint is nothing new in a while. I implore you, please keep it coming

  198. -11 votes + -
    zzzzzzzzzz Said:

    When are we going to get a post about ”How to kill off the douche-bag i-bankers and similar a-holes” who are ruining NYC?

  199. +4 votes + -
    VP Said:

    someone said it earlier and it?s true: you?re all quite worthless as analysts and interns and you ARE doing shit work that no one that can avoid it wants to do. hell, even im stuck with shit sometimes? the bottom line is this, the ibanking side of investment banking died a long time ago, nothing new happens in corporate finance. For all you interns and analysts that can get out, go to the capital markets side where there are infintely many more opportunities and ppl actually like their jobs. Oh, and for the universities debate: the University of Chicago is the only real school left. althought princeton and mit are a close second. and before you trash that, go compare the syllabi

  200. -1 votes + -
    WannaBe Baller Said:

    classic.

  201. +8 votes + -
    rainbow6vegas Said:

    UChicago is a good school. But more than the school is what you study in school that really matters. I mean, in math programs everybody does ODEs, PDEs, Lin Alg, Algebra I, Real Analysis (maybe complex analysis), etc. So doesn?t matter? But you can go to Princeton and major in basket weaving? so who cares? And nothing is more pathetic than a ?basket weaving? grad from a top school who thinks he?s the shit? OK maybe I?m a little bitter because I?m in grad school(non-MIT) right now living on a freaking stipend with the promise of post-doc hell, maybe if I?m lucky, someday. On the other hand I see friends from college making a killing? Maybe the joke is on me? Maybe I?m the sucker? the moron? Maybe I should just quit after my PhD qual. exams and cut my losses short? Wow! I?m having a major epiphany tonight! You know what, I?m going to do some research on this? Maybe this website changes one person?s life for the better?

  202. -2 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    zzzzzzzzzzz, you?ll need to find a way to make the markets fall 20% and stay there for the rest of this year and through January, that?ll definitely clear out the dead wood and send a lot of the younger ones packing and running back to mom and dad. guestofaguest, uh, why wouldn?t you be bringing them back to your place, who?d want to crash in one of those crappy, cockroach-ridden spots anyway?

  203. +2 votes + -
    The Pwnage Giver Said:

    Entrepreneur: I?ve loved your work on this board. I hope to see you again. stan: ”good godwhat is it with you state school people? Why do you all have an inferiority complex? [?] There are smart people everywhere, but on average, they congregate at the ivys. [sic] [?] wharTON” Wait? you?re trashing state schools when you went to Wharton? Dude: you went to an *undergraduate business school*? Not that the ”Ivy League” designation is meaningful anymore, but guess what? You?re not Ivy, just as I would not be if I got a Harvard MBA or JD. If you had gone to Penn, you would be? if you care about that sort of thing, which seems to be the case. Undergraduate business schools sadden me, because the kids going into them are reasonably intelligent and yet have no idea of what they?re missing by cheating themselves out of going to college and getting a real college education. ”Oh, and for the universities debate: the University of Chicago is the only real school left. althought princeton and mit are a close second.” There are a few ”real schools” left. Chicago comes to mind quickly, along with the top liberal arts colleges like Williams, Carleton, and Swarthmore. MIT and Caltech are great, but present the obvious danger of premature specialization? then again, that?s a problem for anyone gunning for grad school these days. Harvard, Yale and Princeton still have excellent opportunities and some really great students, but ”leadership” admissions lead to swelling douchebag/loser populations that damage undergraduate life.

  204. -5 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Bandon Dunes?.

  205. -3 votes + -
    not a banker Said:

    All?Your thoughts on the biggest bank merger in history and what that means to your industry?

  206. +24 votes + -
    MoneyIsAllYouGot Said:

    comment from Gawker post: ”Men of Wall Street, take heed: we may be easy pickins, but all the money in the world won?t make your fat, sweaty selves look any more like the toned, scruffy bartenders we?re fucking behind your backs.”

  207. -1 votes + -
    LEHMAN Said:

    liberal arts schools are a fucking joke you idiot

  208. +13 votes + -
    not a loafer Said:

    1 in 4 American adults have herpes. I?m sure you?re one. Girls who are willing to have bareback sex with some idiot fling have generally been around the block. Have fun!

  209. +3 votes + -
    Entrepreneur Said:

    One last thing – I am quite skeptical of any statistics course that would teach you that 12% of 100 is 6, Pton. Perhaps you should get a refund on that degree.

  210. -3 votes + -
    amy Said:

    i love gawker?s comment! funny cuz it?s true.

  211. +4 votes + -
    unimpressed female Said:

    Ahem. Was someone an unhappy accounting major in an undergraduate state school program, LEHMAN? Hmmm.

  212. -2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    lame. you are an arse.

  213. 0 votes + -
    Entrepreneur Said:

    Oops, you couldn?t possibly have known that applicants to my company are overwhelmingly male. Sorry about that.

  214. +60 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    The best part about naive young female interns is that they are in the twilight years of their youth and still have a good attitude. A few years in the ”real world” and they will be 10x more bitter, 30 lbs heavier, and wondering why all the men their age are more interested in interns.

  215. -2 votes + -
    The Pwnage Giver Said:

    Liberal arts colleges pwn. Enjoy lugging your opera glasses to every class for your first two years, dude.

  216. -34 votes + -
    Meeg Said:

    Aah, comparing women to loafers? Suggestions of mild racialism? Taking time out from an obsession with bedding naive women you don?t respect in order to criticise people whose wardrobes are more ”frat” than yours? You should be very proud of yourself.

  217. +3 votes + -
    dogg pound gansta Said:

    first off, lehman is a joke? 2nd i was a language major? slavic languages and asian languages as a minor? why u ask? ivy league cats can get into any firm regardless of major? but, let me get back to priorities? my command of the slavic languages enabled me to travel to Praha and game the hottest women? btw, Borat wasn?t speaking kazak shit? he was speaking Czech? speaking of liberal arts? yes, i was quite liberal when i introduced the slavic women to the fine liberal art called ANAL? nuff said? gyea ?

  218. +26 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    New York is hard. You get sucked into this ultra-competitve world where you succumb, like most fragile individuals, to the status-seeking, envious, mean-spirited, and just plain nasty culture of Wall Street. You justify your existence by throwing out phrases like ”in the venture capital space” or ”I saw Peter Petersen the other day”??You casually mention the Ivy league business school you went to, and then, when you just can?t stand it anymore, you start a blog where you write scathing comments about the easiest targets in the world – female interns – probably because they resist your advances. Such nobility and high-mindedness. You all should get out of New York, get married, move to the suburbs, and thank God you are as lucky and as fortunate as you are.

  219. -4 votes + -
    Now in Houston Said:

    what about Georgetown, my alma mater?

  220. +8 votes + -
    Unimpressed Female Said:

    the pun in that last line was bordering on genius.

  221. -1 votes + -
    Chitown Baby Said:

    hey anyone working in PE. Get your resume together, the golden age just ended yesterday.

  222. +1 votes + -
    dull horsebit Said:

    didn?t know tods made a size 5.5 for your little bareback.. don?t worry a lot of interns say size doesn?t matter but most probably have acne.

  223. 0 votes + -
    pe god Said:

    enough talk about akademics..last night i was at Cain and i ran up on a shawty and axed her if i could buy her a drank, she axed my why, and i said cuz i got money in the bank?and it was on from then. dpg fill in the blanks for me? p.s. on the akademik tip i gotta say Ephs rule and the rest of you cats can drool over it.

  224. +29 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    The new term is not loafer it is ”deal slipper”

  225. -3 votes + -
    rainbow6vegas Said:

    So if I were to want to get into finance, what would some of you recommend I do? I know very little about finance. Even applied math since most of what I did as an undergrad was focused on pure math. And on the grad level the subjects become even more theoretical. What field of finance could I get into and be successful at. I am in my second year of a decent math phd program (think along the lines of Duke, Cornell, etc). Finance is more like statistics from what little I know about it. HJM, ARCH (and its variations), etc. By the way, Georgetown is a very solid school. I have a guy in my program who went there and is brilliant.

  226. +7 votes + -
    ShorterLongs Said:

    Did someone really post using the name ”Baller Intern”? Lord help us all. Great post though – literally laughed out loud at the ”deal flow” comment.

  227. -2 votes + -
    Intern from NYU Said:

    Sadly speaking, that is the truth. But of course, exceptions always exist.

  228. +6 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Dealslipper ”yes, I read that”

  229. +2 votes + -
    dogg pound gansta Said:

    PE G? you know that you dont need me to fill in da blanks for ya playboy? i know that you have it down? i love how this site is turnin more gangsta? every cat and his motha is copping da lingo? gy__? PE i?ll make it easy for you? make yo ho spell it after you bang her?

  230. -1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    LOL @ quoted person under MoneyIsAllYouGot.. Thing is, in 10 years the bartender will be serving my kids fries at a drive-thru on our way to a skiing.. actually no, because I won?t feed my kids such low class, fatty shit. ”Fat, sweaty selves”.. AS IF!

  231. -7 votes + -
    Go Wildcats! Said:

    fuck yall. northwestern is the only real school left

  232. +18 votes + -
    GetOverItAlready Said:

    I am shocked to find that some people still don?t realize this is satire. I shit my pants every time.

  233. 0 votes + -
    anonymous Said:

    new post pleaseee

  234. +4 votes + -
    ExitingAssociate Said:

    Lawintern, soon you?ll be one of the poor bitches (that?s a gender neutral term) turning our documents, spit polishing our commitment papers, hanging off our every word and generally taking it from the most junior Analyst, let alone Associate?

  235. 0 votes + -
    anonymous Said:

    dogg pound gansta you?re disgusting

  236. +8 votes + -
    anonymous Said:

    LOL @ Gawker readers thinking its real.

  237. -2 votes + -
    LAGAT Said:

    but? ARE YOU LAGAT?????

  238. +2 votes + -
    alden bit loafer Said:

    Brilliant

  239. 0 votes + -
    R. Kells Said:

    Like my mans Twista and I say on a joint? ”we like the girlz that like to keep the ”D” up inside them” ~ R.Kelly

  240. +2 votes + -
    MADproptrades Said:

    vineyard vines is not frat.

  241. -3 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    ‘Note: My affinity for black and brown loafers does not quite carry over to their female counterparts.” Haha, thank you so much for this!!

  242. +2 votes + -
    Man Said:

    playing bed of roses while making out, that gets them

  243. +5 votes + -
    Lumbergh Said:

    Dogg Pound Gangsta is an Eastern European high school kid from Queens, NY with a bad case of acne. He enjoys wearing G-Unit and Rocawear as he ”cruises” around in his mom?s Nissan on weekends with his ”boys”. They normally just get blitzed on Georgi vodka, drive around a little and go home. DPG, as he calls himself, hopes to one day get out of Sheepshead Bay and go on to work either in IB or S&T, where he will truly become a ”baller”. But his near-term goal is to finally ”bang” a ”hot chick”. His first bonus will be spent on some ”bling” and any remaining funds will go to treat his acne.

  244. +3 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    dogg pound gansta baller intern ???

  245. +1 votes + -
    NICEEEEEE Said:

    Messenger bags are certainly not frat.

  246. +3 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    All hail Lloyd – King of Bottle Service

  247. +1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    so banker intern chics are hot but banker chicks are not? what happens to a woman in those years between intern to banker (other than age and drooping tits and heightened sense of self worth)? please explain

  248. +17 votes + -
    BoredFemaleBanker Said:

    Im sure an intern figures they cant catch anything by f*cking a banker raw. Most bankers dont get much ass anyway. Believe me, talking about all the dough you make does not make up for a complete lack of personality, a big fat seamlessweb belly, and in 90% of the time: a tear-jerkingly hideous face. But hey, you MIGHT help them get an offer

  249. +2 votes + -
    Alex Said:

    Prestigious post, as usual. Interns are quite influentials creatures indeed.

  250. +11 votes + -
    anonymous Said:

    fuckin brilliant?this blog is to banking what entourage is to entertainment in LA.

  251. +42 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    those who diss the NYU dorms are morons? the NYU dorms in the summer are goldmines for young hot media and entertainment intern muffs. if you are a true balla, you can bang the hottest 19 to 21 year olds. here?s how da hustle works: 1) apply for an undergrad dorm for the summer and expect to pay around 2500 total 2) stock your room up with top shelf liquor and pure ganja 3) pretend that you are a banker intern who happen to live there (note: the m&e interns don?t give a shit that you?re a banker slave. the banker bit only legitimizes the fact that you work 24/7 and are never at da dorm)? 4) hit up the dorms thursday, friday, and saturday nights. invite all the media and entertainment young muffs over to pre-party, take them out to Marquee, Cain, Tenjune, whateva or any meatpacking spot would work? 5) take da hoes back to the dorm for the after party and shag to your heart?s content. 6) repeat every week and you?ll have a limitless stable of hot, young 19-21 year old muffs for the entire summer fuck wedding crashing? dorm crashing is for true ballas who likem barely legal?. gyea!

  252. -2 votes + -
    tradeAsia Said:

    you?re totally wrong dogg pound. biggest arb is having chicks that are struggling to pay 2500 a month for dorm living check out your 10K a month palace. I used to have a 4 bedroom 3 thousand square foot place my friends referred to as the ”pantie dropper”. Fact is that the interns are impressed by the same stuff as most gold digging women, they just have lower defenses. Screw ganja, coke is the new weed and everybody knows it. and just like most new york women, hedge fund beats banker any day of the week. Best comment from an intern i ever heard: ”you?re only 2 years older than me and you make more money than my dad”. It sucks that you work in the US. In Asia, you can hire interns purely based on looks. Then you have welcome parties where clients are invited. Fish in a barrel.

  253. +16 votes + -
    Back Office Said:

    TradeAsia, I don?t care if it was required that you sleep with the interns before you hire them, no person in their right mind would choose to go to the bird-flu capital of the world to bag interns. I have to say that I want to ”big-up” my boy Dogg Pound with the 19-21 year old demographic. There is nothing more pure than the mind of a 20 year old girl, zero complications, (cross your fingers) zero diseases, and thusly, a zero percent chance they let that post-op degenerate StraightTalker hit it. I cracked up with that ”seamlessweb belly” comment, very clever Bored Female Banker.

  254. -22 votes + -
    Why bankers are pathetic Said:

    Great satire. I hope. The tragic thing about this article is that what should be tongue-in-cheek is so often not amongst the priviledge-ridden, entitlement-obsessed moral weaklings that get excited about instrumentalizing their lives. Purely materially-oriented sophistication is simply an ironic form of complete unsophistication. This degree of navel-gazing nihilism really shouldn?t be amusing in a lighthearted way – that might be like reading Swift?s Modest Proposal and finding oneself hungry for Irish babies. The fact that it registers as remotely sane for so many on this wall just means we should be concerned – I?ll bet not many give a fuck though. That?s the problem I have here: satirical writing is only effective if the reader has any moral sensibilities at all; but I know too many people who do not and who would post precisely as others have done here. To those who posted here who actually have had the priviledge of a decent education but think the things said here are amusing in a non-satirical way – you?re sick and a waste of a society?s investment. If you think knowing the subtle class distinctions embodied by various loafers (with/sans socks) or bedding young girls makes you more of a man, you?re truly pathetic.

  255. +20 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    i donts understands your ebonics ”why bankers”? stop droppin da street lingos and enunciate in English.

  256. -9 votes + -
    Anon Said:

    I am not sure to laugh or cry or what. I do agree interns are easy. I?ve had my share. But your love for loafers? Dude, from a fellow banker, you?re pathetic and need a life. Get over yourself. I guess you can?t pull any normal ass and keep having to fall back on 20-22 year olds (yes, they are fun) to keep believing you?re the shit

  257. +3 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    ohhhhhhhhhh where do I start. To Back Orifice, eat a dick. I?ll leave it at that for now, you aren?t worth it. Actually, it pains me to agree w/ you about the pure mind of the 20 year olds, although there are some complications in that their friends get a disproportionate say in their decisions, etc., so either make sure to nail one of them as well on the side, covertly, or at least flirt w/ them so they can think they may have a chance at some point once you?re done w/ their friend. I can vouch for Dogg Pound Gangsta, I saw the liquor stash and the ho?s, and it was good livin?. It didn?t hurt that he had as his main wingman in that dorm, a 21 year old kid who also worked in M&E. The two of them brought little groups of minnows to almost every one of our bottle nights out, and trust me when I say that good things happened. To the kid in H.K. w/ the $10k apartment, so the fuck what, I worked there for a month, and frankly you could be living in a Marriot in Kowloon and bang about any local you want, if you?re into that, or go for some of the decent looking Brit expats, and again it doesn?t matter how big your place is or if it?s up above midlevels. Myself, I found a dirty Essex girl, who I met at 4am one night, and just banged her senseless for the remaining weeks I was there. It was more efficient, and as I said, she was dirty. But I couldn?t wait to get back to the greatest spot on earth, NYC. Oh and the fact that you are meeting girls whose dads make less than you actually means you?re meeting the wrong girls. Meet one whose parents own a Sagaponack estate and you?ll realize what you?ve been missing. It kills me that I?ve become addicted to this site, though it does make for good entertainment.

  258. +12 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    the 21 year old certainly earned his nickname of ?lil pimp?? by the time summer was over, he skipped the 20 year olds and banged at least a dozen female bankers in their late 20s? all those requesting ”how to bang a female banker” should quit seeking advice from the ”seamlessweb belly” (i too liked that comment) banker losers on here and take notes from young 20 year old m&e interns? they trump you any day when it comes to game and that?s without flashing da stash?

  259. -3 votes + -
    Matt Said:

    BNL 4 Life!!!

  260. +1 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    that li?l pimp kid cleaned up. He used to go to those French parties and have his pick of the litter all summer long, it was a bit ridiculous. He didn?t make shit, and the girls could have cared less. They just wanted a piece of candy. Seamlessweb Belly guys, take note.

  261. -5 votes + -
    Ron Burgundy Said:

    Congratulations, You are a massive tool!

  262. -5 votes + -
    Chitown Baby Said:

    Why Bankers are pathetic?thats one of the best things Ive ever read. You pretty much nailed most of the retards on here

  263. +4 votes + -
    Simply Put Said:

    In response to ”Why bankers are pathetic”, the only Irish babies I want to hear about on this site are the beautiful females from Woodlawn or Riverdale who are trying to secure financial liberty by sleeping with me. Strangely you pick up the satire of Swift?s work while missing the satire of the blog. I guess there was no community college professor holding your hand this time?

  264. +2 votes + -
    Back Office Said:

    The friend factor is a true obstacle with the young ones, but if you can get past that, a clean playing field is all yours. See, at that stage of college, the ones who had boyfriends have aschewed them for their new found friendship network through their sorority. So now they are back on the market, on the rebound and clean. And yes, I only go for sorority girls. They put out, do drugs and drink. And to Professor Why Bankers Are Pathetic, if you don?t find this hilarious, you are the one who is pathetic sir. I am not going to ask you why you read this site or even discourage you from doing so, because without social commentators like you, the comment area lacks humor. If you feel the need to come on every so often and teach us what you learned in English class at Bleeding Heart U., by all means.

  265. -6 votes + -
    Chicago rules Said:

    All you NYC douchebags crack me up, especially StraightTalker. French parties? Give me a break! NYC is filled with nasty European and jewish chicks from jersey. Chicago is where you find the naturally hot blondes who are in great shape. I was disgusted the last time I visited NYC. Chicago has everything NYC has to offer, but it?s cheaper, cleaner, and has a higher quality of living. Have fun living in your tiny rat infested apartment.

  266. +4 votes + -
    Chitown Baby Said:

    oh yea..Chicago Rules!! I love living in a 3bdrm, 3 bthrm, 2000sq ft apartment with a view of the lake for $2000 a month. $2000 a month gets you 400 sq ft starting at a brick wall in Manhattan. What a complete hellhole.

  267. -2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    haha, great!!!

  268. +7 votes + -
    Chitown???? Said:

    ?.Uhm?OK then, I guess?? I think I know where Chicago is?.its in Missouri right??..No, maybe Indiana????oh, hell?its one of those worthless states somewhere between NYC and LA??Chicago?.what a joke?isnt that the city that grows all those obese morons that go on Carnival Cruises, take Bus tours of Manhattan, and wear jean shorts and white reeboks on their ”European Summer Vacations”?.for crying out loud, you midwest bafoons give Americans our lousy reputation the world over?Ugly American, ever heard of the term?..take a look in the mirror next time you?re at your local Applebees or Arbys or wherever it is you go?.and for Christs sake, get the F8ck out of the way when you visit NYC, you idiots block up the entire sidewalk!!!

  269. +6 votes + -
    Chitown Baby Said:

    Id take a Big 10 chick over an prissy stuck up Ivy League chick anyday of the week. Big 10 chicks care more about after work running and drinking than their stupid handbags and shoes. New Yorkers truly are clueless

  270. +5 votes + -
    Simply Put Said:

    ‘I love living in a 3bdrm, 3 bthrm, 2000sq ft apartment with a view of the lake for $2000 a month” But you still have to listen to those stupid accents Olaf. Midwesterners speaking is high comedy. Similar to hearing Strauss played on a kazoo.

  271. -1 votes + -
    Chitown???? Said:

    ?.We arent talking about your chicks deushebag, whom by the way would trade your simple midwestern ass in for an NYC shooter in a Chicago, I mean NY MINUTE!, we are talking about you??and besides, no Big 10 chick ever grows up dreaming of moving to the Windy City after graduation?she moves where?? NYC! thats right, and after NYC chews her ass up and spits her out?she moves back to that pathetic excuse for a city you call home?.

  272. +2 votes + -
    Chicago rules Said:

    Chitown ????, Are you bitter that you got rejected by the hotties in Chicago? Maybe you should try visiting the city and check out the clubs and lounges before you write your drivel on this board. The nightlife and quality of girls is second to none, but of course, they will laugh at your fat NYC ass.

  273. +2 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    those who dont move back home from NYC ends up turning tricks for me? right umimpressed female?

  274. +6 votes + -
    Chitown???? Said:

    Fools from Chicago?.I am done with you?your responses are putting me to sleep?..now, who is this ”Why Bankers are Pathetic” clown????and why have we let him skate by???.Professor Fudge Packer, your rant is not welcome here, and your miniscule knowledge of satirical writing is pathetic?..the true end game of satire is to improve humanity, which I feel is quite subjective??in our case we intend to improve humanity by bedding as many 20 year old interns over the course of the next couple months as possible?..if you?re not with us on that cause, then piss off?.maybe you can meet up with the boyz from Chicago and play hide the Polish Kilbasa.

  275. -12 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    whats worse than the regular interns are the sales and trading interns pretending to be in banking. (baller intern)

  276. +5 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    fuck, now here I am agreeing w/ Back Orifice and idolizing Simply Put?..while hating these Chicago morons, I?m ashamed to have spent a brief 22 months in that town during my b-school days. Hey ?Chicago rules?, it?s called French Tuesdays, look into it you mypoic midwest moron. Chicago is full of beer-guzzling, meat and potato, square-jawed, boring bitches. I?d love to see you list out the things Chicago has that NYC has. Actually, let me make this quicker by pointing out what it doesn?t have: 1) Decent weather in the spring, summer, fall and winter 2) More than 2 clubs w/ any scene at all on Sunday through Thursday nights?actually let?s just extend it all the way through Saturday nights. 3) Anybody who has ever lived anywhere east of Ohio or west of Iowa or south of Oklahoma. 4) People who use normal words like ”soda”, ”an ATM”, and ”mom”, instead of ”pop”, ”cash machine”, and ”maaaaahhhm”. 5) Any sort of buzz in the city, a vibe, decent dressed women, and the ability to drink past 1:45am without standing outside in a line of other guys waiting to enter a bar of 80% guys for the ”late night” spots. There are like 2 of them, and both suck horribly. What Chicago does have that NYC doesn?t, and is worth caring about: 1) Wrigley Field – Friday day games 2) Wiener Circle The rest of the shit you can have it Midwest boys, it sucks. Simply Put and Back Office have nailed it on that Why Bankers are pathetic. Though I?ll go one further, this guy sounds like he?s a limey Brit, mad at the world, depressed, and badly in need of some Coronas on a beach w/ some fun friends (doubtlful he has any), scantily clad women (hasn?t seen them in years), and a night out instead of sitting home reading Emily Dickinson novels lamenting over the decline of modern civilization. In short, you?re a fucking buzzkill, so go somewhere else where you?ll be more welcomed and where people will appreciate your poetic bitching. I actually know who that Chitown Baby clown is, and trust me, you aren?t in good company. He sits at the pool at the Vegas Hard Rock and complains about being hot, bored and eventually leaves the pool to go hit the sports book inside for a while. Did-anybody-else-notice-”Why Bankers are pathetic”?s-over-use-of-hyphens; and semi-colons? Look if any youngins on here need someone to edit their b-school essays, send them to this clown. Or if you are simply feeling high on life and happy and are looking for a way to lose that feeling (anti-ecstasy, basically), talk to Why Bankers are pathetic, he?ll change your mind.

  277. +4 votes + -
    Anonymity is preferred Said:

    ‘fuckin brilliantthis blog is to banking what entourage is to entertainment in LA. ” Actually, Doug Ellin has an Entourage-esque show about hedgies in the works..

  278. -5 votes + -
    Chicago rules Said:

    Straight Talker, You obviously never left Hyde Park when you lived here because you clearly are talking out of your fat ass. 1. NYC during summer is one of the most disgusting places in the country. It?s hot and humid, with millions of people cramped on a small island. Add to this the smell of garbage, and NYC summer is nothing more than a hellhole. Chicago has Lake Michigan, which is an awesome place to jog and play sports. 2. The nightlife in Chicago is amazing. There?s something going on every night. Stone Lotus, Rino, Underground, Manor, Enclave, Level, Y Bar, and Narcisse, are just a few of the happening clubs and lounges. The girls there are some of the hottest you?ll see in the country, but of course, they don?t go for fat NYC douchebags like yourself. 3. The energy here is incredible. Walk on Rush Street on a summer afternoon, and you?ll know what I?m talking about. Awesome restaurants, shops, and beautiful women everywhere. As I said before, Chicago has everything NYC has, minus the ridiculous rent, pretentious faggots like you, and materialistic jewish chicks.

  279. +5 votes + -
    straight talker Said:

    Chicago sucks. They don?t call it Second City for nothin?.

  280. +1 votes + -
    UpperEastSide4Life Said:

    Chicago, If you don?t like materialistic Jewish chicks, you?re pretty much unamerican.

  281. -8 votes + -
    Chicago rules Said:

    UpperEastSide4Life, Jewish chicks are nasty. I go for blonde sorority chicks from Big 10 schools. They?re hot, fun, and laid back. Basically, they?re real American chicks.

  282. +11 votes + -
    UpperEastSide4Life Said:

    Sounds nice but not my type. I prefer a dark-haired and freckled chick, who just spilled an $8 vodka and cran on her $1,000 Luis Vuitton bag? basically any girl stumbling out of Dorrian?s post 2:30 am with a sweaty brow from all that fist pumping. What do you do on a date with a girl from a Big 10 school anyway? Milk cows or harvest some wheat? Sounds pretty sweet, bro.

  283. +8 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    only $8?

  284. +2 votes + -
    Bankin' Said:

    He?s so right about interns going bobble head

  285. -5 votes + -
    Chicago rules Said:

    UpperEastSide4Life, You?ve obviously never seen the hot chicks in Chicago. These girls are not only hotter but more laid back and less high maintenance. You can go drink with them at a bar, bang them at night, and then go to Lake Michigan with them on the afternoon, without dropping loads of cash. God, I feel sorry for all you NYC douchebags.

  286. +9 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    boys and potential shags? i?m off to a roof top party with guess what ??INTERNS! ? happy huntings! i think i?m going to pull me a midwest big 10 intern, that?s what i?m feeling today?

  287. +11 votes + -
    Blackstone Intern Said:

    Laugh all you want at us interns. Got stock options?

  288. +8 votes + -
    UpperEastSide4Life Said:

    You?re right, I?ve never seen hot girls in Chicago, but then again, I?ve only been there about 10 times. Although I have to admit there?s nothing sexier than a Big 10 girl with a nice beer belly who can take down an entire Weiner Circle hot dog in one bite. I would?ve loved to go to a Big 10 school but, unfortunately, I got waitlisted at both the University of Iowa?s school of barn-raising and at Indiana?s crop-dusting program. Although I?m hoping to one day save up enough money to retire in one of Chicago?s awesome suburbs, like Gary, Indiana.

  289. +4 votes + -
    KKReject Said:

    Blackstone Intern, you are my idol.

  290. +8 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    Blackstone inter? where?s the party tonight for the hot ass? where are all your M&E friends going?

  291. 0 votes + -
    airhead Said:

    Chicago – you can?t seriously compare the heat and humidity of New York with Chicago. Chicago is worse than hell in the summer. anyone die in a heatwave yet? the nightlife and party atmosphere in New York is far better than Chicago. Anything Chicago has to offer (i.e. some variation of a fratastic bar), New York has?and much much more. and what?s the big deal about getting a big10 girl? they?re pathetic dogs compared to sun-belt colleges (FSU, Arizona, USC, Texas). and the big10 sucks in football.

  292. -4 votes + -
    Chicago rules Said:

    airhead, Chicago might have higher temperature during the summer, but the city is spread out. People in Manhattan are packed together like a can of sardines, which exacerbates the heat and humidity. I thought I was gonna die when I visited NYC a few summers ago. The nightlife in Chicago is amazing. It has more bars per capita than any city in the country, and the clubs and lounges are some of the best out there. I admit that sun belt girls are better. But aside from LA, Scottsadale AZ, Vegas, and Miami, Chicago has the hottest girls in the country. It simply blows NYC away.

  293. +11 votes + -
    Louis Winthorp Said:

    I don?t know which is worse: the usual mass retard riot with no capacity for this site (now with reinforcements from the Gawker link), or the Chicago v. NYC elephant walk circling the message board. Interns? some of you are cool. Some of you are gimps. Last Tuesday, when I asked you all to get us shack burgers, you happily complied. When I tell you next week we?re having (i.e., you?re getting) cheesesteaks from Pat?s and Geno?s, please don?t be the one who squeaks, ”the ones in Philly?” Sure, you might think I?m an ass. John in Global Healthcare never made you do anything when you were over there. But John goes home and puts his dick between the couch cushions to practice for that thing with hooves he?s taking down from Bar None come Friday night. I was an intern, I had to do it, and I tried to be a sport, even with a hearty mouthful of shit sandwich. Come weekend, instead of watching John hump air on the west side, the good guys were taking me out. And so it is with you.

  294. +16 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    nyc has dis? chicago has dat? la has twat? miami has blah? stop comparing which city has da best hoes? compare what you can pull? it doesn?t matter what city has what kinda hoes? it comes down to what you can pull? unless you can pull an 8 or above? there?s no point in blabbering about what your city has to offer? what can you pull? that?s ultimately what matters? aiight chumps? just changed into my dancing gear? about to head to Marquee for a Maxim Party? gyea! i?m feeling a big 10, jewish chica, who has been living in the sunbelt for da past year?

  295. +4 votes + -
    That Mufuckin nigguh Said:

    How about updating this site more often? I hate waiting a whole month to read something.

  296. +2 votes + -
    Hedgie Said:

    who the heck is this Chicago rules guy and what sort of southside Chicago crack is he smoking? Cabrini Green bitch. Chicago has little beer taps on every corner, and they suck. Filled w/ Big 10 losers who can?t bag a bitch to save themselves. I?m sure the clubs and lounges are awesome compared to Indianapolis, Milwaukee, and Omaha, dude get a freaking clue. Have you been anywhere in this country or the world? Chicago ain?t hit, trust me/us.

  297. +27 votes + -
    dogg pound gangsta Said:

    hey, it?s lindsey from nebraska, i?m interning at Bride Magazine for the summer. i went to a party at Marquee and thought I?d never get in. i met Sebastian (ooops dogg pound gangsta) while i was number 25 in line, he pulled up with his gangsta lean, swooped me off my feet, and wisked me past the VIP. he bought me some kinda drink called a mohito that tasted like toothpaste. i drank it all night. now, i am at his loft (ooops crib) and just took my clothes off. i?m about to let him ”thug me out”, whatever that means. i?m in nyc and having the time of my life. he is so suave and debonair. i guess i won?t be a virgin come dawn. oh well, NYC i?ve succumbed to your charms?*sigh* why aren?t the cornfed guys in lincoln like these nyc ballers. well, talk to you later. Lindsey from omaha?hehe

Leave a Comment




Copyright Leveraged Sellout, LLC.