Friday, November 12, 2004

My Wardrobe

Dear Diary,

I just purchased my third pair of Ferragamo loafers, and I think my wardrobe is nearly complete! Looking into my closet makes me harder than I get when I smell the deep, earthy ink aroma of a fresh WSJ. My seven Burberry scarfs, folded neatly and stacked one on top of the other create a pillow of heavenly checkeredness, are my personal flair, my “je ne sais quoi,” if I may. I have aggregated one Brooks Brothers shirt in every single color and in all three of their styles. I get a little nervous about wearing anything not from The Brooks, but I also got a couple Thomas Pink shirts. Apparently, it’s very British; and I like to be worldly.

For those kick back in the Hamptons with a vodka-cranberry kinda days, I have a Lacoste polo in every pastel color and, of course, my trusty pair of Nantucket Red khakis. I also made sure to purge any undershirt that didn’t have a little horsie on the lower left because I don’t feel secure if he’s not there protecting me with his mallet, compensating for the lack of love I received as a child because I went to prep school 2000 miles away from my parents.

87 comments for this post.

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  1. +7 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Weak commentary on ”My Wardrobe.” Brooks shirts are for the masses. I can think of many way more hitter shirtmakers: Ascot Chang, Turnbull & Asser, and Paul Stuart just to name a few. Additionally, in London Thomas Pink is nearly the equivalent of Brooks Brothers.

  2. -17 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    You forgot to mention the infamous horse-stitched shirts – Polo.

  3. -18 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Your Wardrobe Fucking SUCKS! Brooks Brother Fucking SUKS! You Must Fucking SUCK!

  4. +31 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    My tailor comes to the office and makes my shirt. Wear your banker shirts while I fuck your girlfriend. and mother.

  5. +18 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    wow, you are some angry little fuckers!

  6. -16 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    I?m still in law school and I have tighter shit than that.

  7. -7 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Ouch. Shirts- Turnbull&Asser, Eton, Fumagalli Ties-Canali, Zegna, Versace Shoes- Pliner, Ferragamo, Toschi Suits- Boss, Armani, Abboud Look cool at the office, but ditch the prep stuff when recreating. Please, don?t where pink polos. Nothing good will come of it.

  8. -18 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Tsk? Brooks is sooo?. 90?s. Get hip with Zegna? losers.

  9. +9 votes + -
    shoegazejames Said:

    work in London, US hedge fund managers in their pastel polo shirts and khakis = F**kin? hilarious! even more so now the market correction?s exposing them as a bunch of trend monkeys. keep on celebrating yourself!

  10. +2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Off the rack shirts show just how lame analyst and associates in finance are. Here is a two step process #1) move to the buyside where you can make some real money based on talent and not how many years you spend kissing ass at firm XYZ. #2) then get a great tailor to come into your office and size you up for custom shirts and fabrics while your intern is grabing you lunch. Of course if you?re a fatt f$$k no custom shirt is going to help and you should ignore points 1 and 2 and just get to the gym.

  11. -11 votes + -
    theluckyones Said:

    There is no way you can step foot in the Yale Club wearing something like that!

  12. -12 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Yale club! Enough said. Does anyone really respond to that. You should have gone to Stanford.

  13. +16 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    there will alwasy be someone bigger badder than you in NYC. It;s fun to try and compete though? tailor shirts, nice watches, great shoes, ties, we all do it. If you don?t then fine, to each there own. ”what?s that business card made of?”?..”Bone”

  14. -6 votes + -
    KKR Said:

    Charles Tyrwhitt or nothing. Welcome to PE.

  15. +32 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Unless all these comments are from chicks, this is by far the gayest stream of crap Ive ever heard. What a bunch of poofs.

  16. +15 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    i find it rather sad that you all seem to believe that this author really means what he says?unless i am being overly cynical, the satirical tone of these articles shines through clearly and i think he (i think it?s a he) is f**king hilarious?i?ve had summer internships at hedge funds and now an investment bank and you are so on point. my favorite is still ”bonus season” though.

  17. +14 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    I think it?s hilarious that you all act so tough and smart when commenting on this guy?s articles, yet you can hardly spell, write coherently, or use proper grammar. Not to mention the fact that his satiric tone has fooled 90% of you. Try reading ”A Modest Proposal” and tell me if Swift is advocating cannibalism. Fuck being a broker or a trader, the real money is in being an attorney, where the market never dries, your clients are always willing to pay 100?s of dollars for about a 30 second phone call, and the only wardrobe that ever matters is: black suit, black shoes, and a blue fucking tie. You pussies couldn?t hold my balls with both hands.

  18. -9 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Charles Tyrwhitt..OMG nooooo.. that?s mail order in magazines type stuff. Sunday Times (London) shirt test 1. Hilditch & Key 2. Turnbull and Asser 3. Marks and Spencer

  19. +9 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Marks and Sepncers.. the british Kmart?? what are you smoking!

  20. +12 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:


  21. +1 votes + -
    from L. Said:

    love it!

  22. +5 votes + -
    Patrick Bateman Said:

    Khaki refers to a color Nantucket Red khakis cannot exist Nantucket Red chinos can

  23. +3 votes + -
    Frank Said:

    Brooks Brothers??? What are you? an intern?

  24. +2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Is it just me, or am I the only one that gets it that these stories are meant to make fun of the douchebags that think/dress like this, rather than be an actual account from said douchebag. The posts from you geeks arguing over what shirts are ”in” are even more lame than the dude?s blog (even if the blog was true).

  25. 0 votes + -
    nanheyangrouchuan Said:

    Wow! How many inadequacies are you guys trying to cover up?

  26. -2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Can anyone tell me how I can order some Nantucket Red chinos? Do they have these in pink?

  27. +2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

  28. +7 votes + -
    Anon Said:

    Tyrwhitt is only mail order if you don?t live in London or Manhattan. Sorry- they haven?t opened a Scranton location yet.

  29. +7 votes + -
    Icar33 Said:

    Heeee,in Europe, Lacoste polo are for dynamic people in their 50?s or 60?s? Brooks Brothers, Hugo Boss, Canali are for twentysomething or the unsuccessful thirties?Versace (classic or V2) is not the same as Versace Couture? let?s make a true list : Suit : ”Made to mesure” Zegna, Brioni, Armani Collezione (avoid Emporio..) Tie : the same brand as the suit? Shirt : please avoid ”pinpoint!!!!”, french or italian collars only!!! 100% cotton required!The brand is not important! Shoes : Berluti?s are the best (worth the travel to Paris : you meet them once, then mail order works), Ferragamo OK! Allen Edmonds?Park Avenue are good. For leisure time, Tod?s!!!!!!

  30. -1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    what about my bostonian?s? those are AWESOME shoes!!

  31. +1 votes + -
    holy shirts and pants Said:

    Was not expecting to be a real site, wow – it is. Was not expecting someone to suggest ”zegna” shirts as a mark of success, wow – someone did (aren?t they now imported from china?) listen, patrick bateman et al., i want you to know i am pro family, anit drug, but seriously take something if a burberry scarf is your personal flair

  32. -6 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    JoS. A. Bank Clothiers. Done and done.

  33. +6 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    How can you wear a shirt that?s not from Jermyn Street? Here is the cook book for clowns: (1) No pockets (are you an enginner?) (2) French cuffs (unless you?re a fucking yank) (3) Cutaway collar (fuck Italian Spaghetti style). Please adhere and stop looking like tossers.

  34. +6 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Italian designer brands are for parvenus, metros, and girls. Please be a man and buy your clothes in London.

  35. +2 votes + -
    matson jones Said:

    Suits, shirt, ties, overcoat – Richard James, Savile Row Sweaters, scarves, gloves – Loro Piano Shoes – Lobb or Fenestrier Watch – Pulsar P1 (gold) or P2 (stainless ?astronaut? model) Cufflinks – cool vintage from shops or flea markets Luggage, wallet, passport holder – Valextra

  36. +1 votes + -
    $ Said:

    Suit: Paul Stuart Shoes: Gucci Mocs / Prada (night) Shirts: Hilditch & Key Ties: Hermes (rest is nonsense) Watch: Rolex President 18K Yellow Car: $175K Supercar; Top Speed 218 mph Apt: Park Ave/70s Degree: Cornell – Econ Title: MD Now finish those comps and get off this site?.

  37. +7 votes + -
    mj Said:

    Well, howdy poster $? here?s the finished comps you requested – Car: private driver Apt: Village Degree: Ph.D. Art History Title: Private Art Dealer (largest legal UNREGULATED market in the world), making more than any other schmuck leaving commentary here. These are my completed comps, $ poster above? maybe you should limp away now with your tail between your legs. And Paul Stuart (?!?) suits with Gucci shoes – BWAAHAHAHAHAHA! Also, Hermes ties are the only nonsense I know of – but some of their clothing that my wife wears, however, is very hot – like the tight brown suede skirt and high heeled boots that she?s wearing today.

  38. +3 votes + -
    $ Said:

    U sound angry; lighten up its Friday. MJ married?hmm. You can never stop that clock from ticking now?.wrinkle decay GF: 24 yr old Model. More than tail b/w my legs

  39. +3 votes + -
    mj Said:

    Not angry – feel sorry for u. 20-something model?hmmmmmm. If u think she?s so fab, why don?t you just commit? Oh, probably because she?s only interested in your $ – I guess that?s why it?s your handle, huh? It helps compensate (u think) for your the tiny tail b/w your legs. I?m not worried about the ticking clock – but u should be – that model?s gone (like the one before her) once a real sugar-daddy comes along.

  40. +3 votes + -
    the guy Said:

    Shirt: Haggar (shortsleeve, pocket) Pants: Dockers Shoes: MacGregor Tie: Don?t know $$ in my pocket: More than you!

  41. -4 votes + -
    Askademus Said:

    Lacoste polos? OMG, That?s what I used to wear in 1979 when I was poor, pimple-faced and still lived with my parents in a lowly 6000sq-ft house with only 3 maids. sheesh!

  42. 0 votes + -
    mike d. Said:

    Hey you guyssssssssssss

  43. -3 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    POSTER $ said: ?not yet rated + -$ Said: February 9th, 2007 at 9:24 am Suit: Paul Stuart Shoes: Gucci Mocs / Prada (night) Shirts: Hilditch & Key Ties: Hermes (rest is nonsense) Watch: Rolex President 18K Yellow Car: $175K Supercar; Top Speed 218 mph Apt: Park Ave/70s Degree: Cornell – Econ Title: MD Now finish those comps and get off this site.? You forgot one thing: small d!ck

  44. +1 votes + -
    MARK A$$ BUSTAS Said:

    STFU!!! You guys are still spermacides in the business word. As a wise man once said? When you?re 4 years in the game, we can have a conversation/8 years in the game, I?ll invite you on vacation./10 years in the Game, after I?ve enjoyed the fame, only then I?ll let ya pick my brain?

  45. +1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    hey guys, what do you think about Express shirts? They fit me really well.

  46. -1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    You guys don?t know shit. If you wanna be the Michael Corleone of the PE game, you need to get decked out in Borelli shirts, period.

  47. -10 votes + -
    Prophet Said:

    All you young (or balding 50 somethings with a gut and a psoriasis problem on your upper arms and neck area, who think they are still 28)need to realize why you are competing in the money game, it is because you lack something for trying to get women, because in the end it comes down to women, and fucking them, so you think that money will get you laid, and the shirts, shoes, watches and SWEET ties broadcast that to all the women out there?oh I forgot, why don;t you go triple check your modelling in Excel at midnight one more time so your short little dick boss won?t fire you, while the rest of us are getting our dicks sucked by some woman?remember pussy is still pussy and it can still be hot while being poor, and you don;t need Borelli shit to fuck it. Oha nd if I knew who y?all were I would come around and beat the fucking shit outta every single one of you wankers. Go suck some more man dick.

  48. +5 votes + -
    ab the gray poupon don Said:

    I?d have to say judging from what you think is a good wardrobe your probably from long island. Any clothing that can be bought in an outlet is clothing for interns. Until, and this is at the very least, your suits are brioni; your shirts are kiton; and your briefcase is hermes, you do not have the authority to give dress tips unless your giving prom advice. Seriously, your on some budget baller shit.

  49. +5 votes + -
    PE Rockstar Said:

    ab, your name dropping skills are much better than your command of english. Obviously CUNY City College taught you how to pose well. By the way, tonight, when you take out my trash, remember that I told you to change the garbage bag and not just dump it out. i?m sure you?re wearing a kiton shirt under your unitard.

  50. +1 votes + -
    AB the gray poupon don Said:

    phys ed rockstar, ?nice!!! you?re so on point with everything. unfortunately, i might be a little late picking up your trash tonight, i had to settle for the second seating at per se and i?m sure there will be terrible bridge traffic getting to your new jersey mansion. have fun on your dollar store shopping sprees?i?ll see you from the other side of the rope.

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