Friday, August 25, 2006

Oh My Gaod!

For background, please see here, here, and here.

Dear Lucy,

I just wanted to write to let tell you that I’ve fallen for you. And I was hoping (fingers crossed!), if by some chance you’re not busy (I know it’s a long shot with someone like you), I might be able to take you out for a drink. I’ll fly over there immediately if this is possible. We could have a snakebite or a pimms cup or something!

You don’t know me, but I’m a 24 year old Banker in the United States, and I fell in love with you the first time I was forwarded an email about your party at The Ritz. I know you’re a big time hotshot famous person now in the newspapers and all, but I just had to write. I was, frankly, overwhelmed by your prose. I feel like we are connected spiritually. We are like the same person!

Let me elaborate:

  • 1. I had a party very similar to yours a few years back, except it was at a little place called “The Village Idiot.” Definitely the same vibe though. I was, like you, generous enough to indulge my friends. And they also had a script, when they were asked “What the fuck do you want, dude?” they were to reply, “I am here for the $5 pitchers!”
  • 2. I don’t have a PA, but I do have an unemployed “artist” roommate that takes my calls. Coincidentally, his name is also Ms. Gill.
  • 3. Your friend list is extremely ethnically diverse. My group of friends is also very diverse.

    Your list has “Kajai, Mandeep, Preet, Sanami, Dmitry, Nikolay, Ovi, Yuki, Olga, Marcelo, Ulyana, JingJing, Uli, Yogi, and Garzi.”

    Similarly, mine had “Hugh, Dan, Michelle, Kristen, Brandon, Francie, Josh, Kim, Shane, Ted, Ryan, and Sandy.” Both our groups are so eclectic, I’m just positive they’d get along. Did you guys, by any chance, play quarters over there at the Ritz?

One point we might butt heads on is that I am actually kind of a jeans, flip flops, and polo kinda guy. My flip flips do have a little flag of Brazil on them though. Does that help?

To be honest, I’m actually usually not that into Oriental girls, but there’s something about you that’s very Zhang Ziyi—your smile, your plate-like face, your surgically created eyelids. You might be the hottest Chinese chick alive. Forgive me for being crass, I just can’t stop thinking about what I would do to you on that daybed, and the possibilities for that toddler’s chair (perspective? I hope not.) in the background are endless.

Anyway, I’m sure you’ve heard enough about the topic by now, but I made a pact with myself a few weeks ago after letting Samaire Armstrong walk right by me at the W bar that when it came to these celebrity crushes, I would always at least try.

Cheers (I know you like that shit),

Logan


82 comments for this post.

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  1. -11 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Lame.

  2. 0 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Good one. I hope this chick has a MySpace page. That would be some funny shit.

  3. -11 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    This girl is silly. But you are a stupid racist, worse than her.

  4. -16 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    shit on you!

  5. -21 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Can?t agree more! >Anonymous said? > This girl is silly. But you are a stupid racist, worse than her.

  6. -17 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    That was incredibly racist and over the line. Not cool.

  7. +4 votes + -
    sftrader Said:

    Whatever? Tell those freaks to screw off. Your approach, while risque, is no more deviant than Jeff Epstein?s. Keep up the good work and good luck

  8. +4 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    This was great as usual. well-timed at that.

  9. -11 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Logan, at least she has the brain of a marketing genius. Unfortuntely there is no surgically created intelligent for white men.

  10. -25 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    I feel very sorry for you? You probably didn?t get a banking job or working for some second-tier bank, wishing you could have the opportunity that people you mention on this website does.

  11. +16 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    awesome post as usual, what a pretentious bitch

  12. +2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Logan, I have my panties waiting for you. ShAlEv

  13. +33 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    uhh, so when it?s jokes about indians (BSDesis) there?s no racial outcry but god forbid you make fun of an asian it?s like you reenacted Tiennamen Square on the internet? give me a break, racist or not it?s a fucking joke and a funny one at that. unnecessarily PC = no fun.

  14. -1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    sorry funny, but ehh definitely not one of your better ones, just kinda weird

  15. -1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Think she got an offer?

  16. -13 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Hi logan?you know before being so callous as to shoot your mouth off about asians, you may want to take a closer look at your family tree?.cos i could have sworn after last time your mum had a little indian in her?.PEACE!

  17. +1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Freakin sweet dude

  18. -23 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    U think u being funny. U piece of white shit.

  19. -20 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    And the innner racist comes out.

  20. +5 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    HAHAH ”i know you like that shit”

  21. -4 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    ‘U think u being funny. U piece of white shit.” How fucking funny would it be if that was actually Ms. Gao. Then again, she would have spelled out Y O U Asians are the new Jews.

  22. 0 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    ‘U think u being funny. U piece of white shit.” How fucking funny would it be if that was actually Ms. Gao. Then again, she would have spelled out Y O U Asians are the new Jews on the Street. As a Jew, I?m getting kinda worried.

  23. +1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    A bit racist, even for LSO. And apparently this is her facebook page: http://oxford.facebook.com/photo_se?name=Lucy%20Gao

  24. +6 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    what a crazy bitch!! and this is for a birthday? wonder what her wedding would be like? 10 pm photos, 10:15 take a shit, 10:45 say goodbye to guests?that is if she ever finds a dumb ass that will marry her!!

  25. +8 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    After every post, I still marvel at the number of folks who completely miss the point and go apeshit. It could all be explained in one sentence, or maybe one word, but it would be a shame to tell because the clueless comments add so much of the fun to this site.

  26. -1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Check out this video of Lucy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Ke2U-JVjKw scroll to the 5.00 minute mark; she does a funky dance!

  27. 0 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Exactly?let the ranters run free?makes me click the post 3 extra times during the week just to get an afternoon laugh. Hmm?ancillary website hits due to comment pages?how to transfer this into a revenue generator?

  28. -10 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    ‘After every post, I still marvel at the number of folks who completely miss the point and go apeshit. It could all be explained in one sentence, or maybe one word, but it would be a shame to tell because the clueless comments add so much of the fun to this site” you dum fuk, this is a true event..

  29. +1 votes + -
    RD Said:

    when i first read the email i swear it wouldn?t have been misplaced as a posting on this site, pure comical LSO-type writing genius. snap her up as an assistant, well if she?s not too demanding (ahem!) in truth, there probably have been better postings recently, but something is better than nothing (i guess?) and moreso the comments just add to the comedy!

  30. +4 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    dude, sweet post, gotta love Looshy. She?s actually got a tight little body, love those Asian spinners with the perky little titties. Of course you would have to place a brown paper bag over her head or turn out the lights, but what the hell. Keep up the good work you little un-PC man.

  31. -2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    It?s a joke, everyone. Unfunny and lame, to be sure, but still a joke.

  32. +2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    love you long time?

  33. +2 votes + -
    Amish Said:

    Hahaha?.good shit. Hard to believe people still don?t understand the point of this site.

  34. +4 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    well done. i think half the people that read this blog don?t get it. if they have come to leveragedsellout before then chances are they?ve probably laughed at other un ”PC” jokes in the past. now that it hits home they freak out? to call the author ”racist” is ridiculous. grow a spine and some cojones while you?re at it.

  35. +9 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    ‘Unfortuntely there is no surgically created intelligent for white men.” As I white man this comment offends me deeply. The racism this poster has for Caucasian-Americans is obviously deep rooted in some Asian KKK type orthodoxy. As a white male I want you to know I am extremely culturally sensitive. I tip the Chinese guy $2! I pretend to like curry! And even though I would def. fly an airline that advertised itself as not allowing Muslims on a plane I ALWAYS say that its a terrible idea (even though we all know it isnt). So, you my little Asian-American friend owe my white ass a big apology but I wont even make you get down on your knees and beg forgiveness. just set me up with your sister I love them oriental girls. Sorry, I mean Oriental girls.

  36. +2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    READ THIS, everyone. Lucy?s thank-you note to everyone that attended. Skim through it and then we?ll see if your?e STILL convinced that she was just ”joking around” the entire time: Good morning, THANK YOU ALL so much for Friday night, it was absolutely phenomenon and it was – like I said – the best birthday Ive ever had! I really hope you enjoyed the Ritz and then Pangaea, and I will get those fabulous photos to you ASAP – Im so excited! Thanks for all your generous gifts – I had the most wonderful prolonged birthday experience when I returned to the Ritz on Sat to collect the bags full of presents and cards. Also, vielen dank Sophie for organising the magnificent cake – incredibly delicious. Thank you to my talented prime photographer Mandeep. Thank you Citi interns for your thoughtful gifts, champagne, and those beautiful flowers (et merci beaucoup Sophie!), and all your sweet comments on my card. I was truly touched. Thanks to my home and Oxford friends who have travelled very far to attend the joyful occasion. Much appreciated. And last but certainly not least, many thanks to my PA for the evening, Ms Gill, couldnt have done it without you Sanami – should consider this as a profession! I am so grateful to have friends like you and I truly hope we can all keep in touch in the future no matter where we end up. The very special 35 of you have made my 21st Birthday one of the most memorable evenings of my life and I hope you will also cherish the great times on Friday as much as I shall. Cheers to great memories! FRIENDS FOREVER Lucy x???

  37. +3 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    to all the haters, if your attention span is actually long enough to make it this far down the comments section?please go back and read *every one* of this fine site?s previous posts. I think you?ll find that every group regardless of race/religion/color/creed/orientation/ has been slammed up down and sideways on this site. Lighten up and laugh a little bit!!!!

  38. +8 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    racist? you guys are raging idiots. do you wake up in the morning and decide that you?re going to make inane comments, or is it just everyone else?s good fortune that you?re so stupid? lighten up, read the rest of the site, and get a sense of humor, if your 83 IQ mind can handle it.

  39. 0 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    ‘I feel very sorry for you? You probably didn?t get a banking job or working for some second-tier bank, wishing you could have the opportunity that people you mention on this website does.” Hello, D-bag. Logan works at a multi-billion dollar PE fund.

  40. 0 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    ‘Logan works at a multi-billion dollar PE fund.” Relax Logan. You seem to get worked up as fast some of these retards over here. By the way, your blog makes a very delicious read. Very yummy. Very Very Yummy.

  41. -2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    can all you cr*ckers and ch*nks just shut up?

  42. +1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Oriental? Is she a product?

  43. +2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    From Wall St. Folly: https://www.cafepress.com/nycbuzz Capital markets in action.

  44. 0 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Lovely. Race-based jokes are funny as long as they?re in the right spirit. If you can?t take them, go find somewhere to grow up. Not one of your better entries, though.

  45. +2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    next feature you should add is a video clip of two Ari Gold style yuppie jackasses commenting on music videos like the old bevis and butthead cartoons?

  46. -1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Hysterical post – it?s a pity about the lack of funny-bone in your readership Perhaps a calcium supplement ?

  47. 0 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    ARRIVAL TIMES: [Please stick to these as best as you can, thank you] 9:00pm: Lucy, Sophie Sandner, Kajai, Mandeep, Preet, Sanami, Su, Lisa, Kate. 9:15pm: Phoebe, Sophie Seugnet, Theo, Dmitry, Ed, Nikolay, Paul, Nick, Harry. 9:30pm: Marco, Andrea, Jess, Ovi, Yuki, Olga, Kim, Marcelo, Ulyana, Krystal, Dan. 9:45pm: Sunita, Alan, JingJing, Emma. 10:00pm: Anthony, Rachel, Roger, Uli, Yogi, Gharzi Sophie Seugnet must have felt pretty bad when she saw that Sophie Sander got the 9PM slot over her?

  48. +1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    just watched that youtube video and you can see on of the girls (assumedly the Indian hostess) is named Sanampreet Gill?possibly Miss Gao?s PA?

  49. -11 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Hey, Logan, going out on a date tonight with your ”girlfriend”?. I heard you?ve bought her a fabulous new outfit for your usual evening tryst ? a ribbed glove! So is it your right hand or your left? Racist wanker!

  50. -6 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Cut Logan some slack will ya; he was, afterall, weaned off his mother?s tit when he was 15-years-old.

  51. -7 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    You idiots who cannot take jokes should not be on this site. Trashing white people is sad as all you asians come to the west, live off white trash, cause trouble, steal technology, lie, decieve and wish to be white day in and day out. your asian chicks would do anything to blow a white man as your winnies don?t please them. You clueless, arrogant racist asains go back to your own country where if you made a comment you?d be beaten to death, yet here in our own country we have to take insult from little shits like you??

  52. +8 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    ‘ Anonymous said? You idiots who cannot take jokes should not be on this site. Trashing white people is sad as all you asians come to the west, live off white trash, cause trouble, steal technology, lie, decieve and wish to be white day in and day out. your asian chicks would do anything to blow a white man as your winnies don?t please them. You clueless, arrogant racist asains go back to your own country where if you made a comment you?d be beaten to death, yet here in our own country we have to take insult from little shits like you??” Thank you sir for enlightening us all; your profound comment has single-handedly saved us all from our own stupidity.

  53. +2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    I bet everyone who?s calling him a racist read the whole thing and probably the rest of his ”stories”. Yes ladies and gentlemen they are stories, the emails and characters are not real. It was funny although a bit distasteful in some respects, but let?s face it I?m sure at one point or another we?ve all said or heard something derogatory about a woman or a man that involved a stereotype or two. The girl brought it on herself?I mean seriously to do what she did and not expect it to get around and not expect people to make fun of her. Let?s all just calm down take 5 deep breaths and realize that these are just stories. This guys name is probably not Logan and he?s probably never worked in banking but he writes some funny stories?if you don?t like this story then keep reading and you?ll probably find one you will like.

  54. -17 votes + -
    Merv Lowe (NZ) Said:

    To all you clueless-wonders who?ve rushed to the defence of this abject speciman of a human being, who calls himself ?Logan? ? you all have a void in your life that?s as deep and wide as the Grand Canyon itself. And there?s a common denominator that defines you lot ? your literacy quotient is ratshit.

  55. +10 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    ‘You idiots who cannot take jokes should not be on this site. Trashing white people is sad as all you asians come to the west, live off white trash, cause trouble, steal technology, lie, decieve and wish to be white day in and day out. your asian chicks would do anything to blow a white man as your winnies don?t please them. You clueless, arrogant racist asains go back to your own country where if you made a comment you?d be beaten to death, yet here in our own country we have to take insult from little shits like you??” Whoa? that?s a lot of anger. Sexually frustrated much?

  56. -10 votes + -
    Mark Said:

    ‘This guys name is probably not Logan and he?s probably never worked in banking but he writes some funny stories?” You?re so right: our ?Logan? is, in real life named Durk, who lives in a dank basement in a decrepit tenement building with his mother. He has meals out of a can, which is heated on a single kerosene burner. He?s a pathetic wannabe, living his life vicariously through blogging. Highlight of the day is having a few coins in his pocket, which affords him the chance to visit an internet cafe where he can post his bile. Way to go, Logan.

  57. +4 votes + -
    Nitin Flaherty Said:

    Plenty of Indian men named Logan, come on!!! Frank Pathak, Prescott Sibal?totally normal. Kudos on this post, not due to its content, but to the absolutely amazing amount of comments it has generated. I laughed when I scrolled down and saw ”57??and sure enough, there were plenty of great ones.

  58. +5 votes + -
    Indian Guy Said:

    I?m starting a ”Help Logan Get Laid by Lucy Foundation”

  59. +11 votes + -
    Master Shake Said:

    Can someone please explain to me why Lucy Gao thinks she?s a big deal? She?s in equity research for godsakes. Welcome to a career next to the janitor in the back office!

  60. +3 votes + -
    Dbag Said:

    Props to master shake; I was thinking the same thing- she isn?t even a banker, she?s in research. Also, I totally agree that the chick in the video is Miss Gill. I mean how many Indians can there be named Sanampreet Gill?

  61. -3 votes + -
    Anna Said:

    Why is everyone so hung up about race here? Don?t they know the blog is being written by a damn curry-monkey? It?s cute when the mongrel races mock each other. = )

  62. 0 votes + -
    Anonymous2 Said:

    Logan, Shame on you for having the moxy to devise this parody of Lucy?s email. I mean, how dare you write this quite amusing piece showing how truly naive a young intern can be. Because it is completely professionaly to use company e-mails for personal events. But, no one likes to point that out.

  63. +12 votes + -
    Amsterdam Said:

    Osh kosh b?gosh?that ”apology” letter says it all. Only trying to buy herself back by pretending it was a joke?evidently it wasn?t!! I know a few ppl like that, that go over the top in organizing any simple occasion. To be honest, quite impressed 35ppl actually went to her evening!! It was probably 35ppl who had never been to the Ritz and wanted to see what all the fancy schmantzy was about. (Cake will be served with Ritz cutleries?SINCE WHEN IS THE RITZ IN THE SILVERWARE BUSINESS!!!) This is clearly not a joke, coming from someone who?s clearly pretentious. In any case, bunch of you have been calling this so called Logan a racist?FUCK YOU?For the love of god, have a coke, a smile and shut the fuck up. Enjoy the effot being put in trying to entertain your lame asses. Asians are the new jews?As a jew, i can tell you this is bullshit. Asians are simply less asian?not more of anything else!

  64. +4 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Ladies and gentlemen, Just take a look at the number of ads on this page..just fucking look.. Gopal Mehta

  65. +2 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    What is the deal with all your readers suddenly???? There is nothing unusually racist about any of this. Maybe those who complain will also get South Park kicked off TV. Only when it?s about your race is it unacceptable. Lighten the f up!!!!

  66. +9 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    ‘Can someone please explain to me why Lucy Gao thinks shes a big deal? Shes in equity research for godsakes. Welcome to a career next to the janitor in the back office!” I would kill to do equity research in NYC. I?m stuck doing it here in Dallas, and Lucy Gao is a goddess. So shut your mouth, Master Shake. You just shut it now.

  67. +4 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    Saying he?s racist is like calling the sky blue. The only difference is that this time, it hits close to home for some of you. Who?s the real racist, the guy who equally teases everyone or the people who only cry foul when he insults them and not everyone else? Yes, it was racist, and anyone denying it is wrong. It?s ALWAYS racist or offensive to some group or another. If you?re going to get all worked up this time and not any other, what does that say about you?

  68. -1 votes + -
    iddiappam Said:

    logan, you are not only an asshole, but you write well. i wonder – are you the kind that eats iddiappam and pittu? its just a wild guess but i think you are. and if so, do email me. admirer

  69. +1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    ‘Logan, at least she has the brain of a marketing genius. Unfortuntely there is no surgically created intelligent for white men.” Or sufficient training in the English language at the start of Wall Street training programs, as evidenced by a number of these responses.

  70. +3 votes + -
    anon Said:

    me like rice

  71. +3 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    This post and the torrent of predictable responses from dimwits as far away as New Zealand has made my night. Keep up the good work.

  72. +2 votes + -
    Dron Said:

    Word is, CitiGroup felt bad and decided to cover their own ass after everyone one from Canada Square to Paternoster Square read the invitation by noon that day. So they basically told her she would be given an offer later in the year. Fucking bollocks!

  73. +9 votes + -
    anonymous Said:

    Logan ? I was wondering if you were still available? I, too, am an aspiring young minority woman seeking to penetrate the world of white men (17% of the world?s population!), and you and your friend Shane or maybe Lucas might be able to help me. I might not have the Ritz in London, but I certainly have Hudson Hotel or maybe the Sundown Motel? Honestly though, I know I?m more second-marriage material. Your first marriage should be to a WASP, I know you?re still trying to make your family happy by marrying white at this point. For your second marriage though, you?ve thrown in the towel and decided to go ”exotic” and pick up a young asian princess like myself. Then we?ll have the cute half-breed kids who are going to rule the world! We all know Tiger already does. Love ya lots! Me like rice! xoxoxox Lucia

  74. +1 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    new entry?

  75. -1 votes + -
    Hueputalo Morskoe Said:

    Wow, this bitch is so fine!!!

  76. 0 votes + -
    Badass-ociate Said:

    who uses the term ”oriental?” that?s so racist. what the hell was your motivation?

  77. +2 votes + -
    that damn chicken Said:

    ps who is crapping on research? Without research your world would fall down. email me to find out more?

  78. 0 votes + -
    STR8 FLSH Said:

    GOT ?EM.. That is INDEED a GS#. Tell us more ”that damn chicken”?

  79. +1 votes + -
    Anon Said:

    God let?s face it; the fact he can make the jokes about it shows a tolerance, not racial prejudice! Some people need to lighten up! Only recently found your blog but it?s awesome!!

  80. -2 votes + -
    can'twaittobeasummerassociate Said:

    She?s actually attractive. I?d date her. The pedigree doesn?t hurt either.

  81. -2 votes + -
    canuck dude Said:

    apparently, this guy think he is the hotshot on the street. Dude, you are just a nail in the capitalism mothership.

  82. 0 votes + -
    Anonymous Said:

    humour does not have to be political correct. that?s why it?s called humor and not political speech.

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